I'd Spike That~ {Haikyuu!! x Male!Reader}

Yamamoto Taketora

"-and then she ran away as soon as I walked up to her! "

Your only reaction to Yamamoto's existential crisis regarding girls and their adversity to him was a drawn out sigh, an effort to calm down before you took hold of his stupid(ly handsome) face and gave him a real reason to cry.

Now, by no means were you a petty person. Quite frankly, you were a downright amazing boyfriend-anyone else having to listen to their significant other go on a tirade over some stupid woman (who wouldn't know taste in men if it smacked her in the face) would've sent him careening with a nice knuckle sandwich by now; really, you had the patience of a saint and you should get a medal for dealing with this idiot dammit. But of course patience could only last so long before it became worn down and the line for that crossed when he mentioned 'cute girl' for like, the billionth time. That day alone.

You knew he didn't mean...much...by it. As big of an idiot as he (always) sometimes was (especially over the the entirety of the female population), he was loyal to a fault and also the sappiest sap to ever sap, so while he might cry and moan about his inability to talk to girls, you knew he would never take it too far and it was more the 'a girl noticed me' factor that got him. Didn't make it any less fucking annoying though.

Patience of a saint, petty or not, you refused to lose valuable boyfriend-boyfriend time to some random woman who didn't even give Yamamoto the time of day. Hell no.

"Oi Yama-chan. Shaddup."

His head jerks up at you and holy shit he is the most dramatic man baby you've ever met-he's crying, tears and snot run down his face and (this is what you found attractive (F/n), this is who you decided was prime dating material) he's way too choked up over something that literally happens all the time.

"But I really thought this would be the day I met a cute kouhai! She would've called me senpai and told me how cool I was!"

Jeez. And now he was on his knees pounding a fist on the ground, throwing everything out of proportion as always. Really, if volleyball never worked out he should just go into theatre. What a diva.

You roll your eyes so hard you're surprised they don't roll out your head. And maybe entertain the thought of bludgeoning yourself to unconsciousness. Or bludgeoning him. You were completely done with this situation regardless.

"Yama-chan!"

A solid jab to his ribs with your foot distracts him from his theatrics long enough for you to snag hold of his hands, place them on your chest and force them to grope your pecs as you glare at him heatedly.

"These are the only boobs you'll ever need, ya hear me? So stop whining about about that chick, clean your face and makeout with me dammit!"

His scandalized expression is really too cute, nevermind the mucus and dried tears present.

"(L/n)-san!"

Though he shouldn't be so embarrassed, you've had your hands down his pants more times than you can count, a smooch fest was nothing.