Gut Instinct//Phan

Chapter 1

A/N: This might start off a little slow but hopefully it picks up. Also the beginning will mostly be Phils POV.

Phils POV

You know that achingly guilty feeling you get when you're conscience tells you that you're about to do something really stupid, but then you ignore it anyway because you're lazy and "Hey, what's the worst that can happen?", then once you've seen the repercussions you just want to go back in time and slap some sense into your past self? I've done this to many times to count and I always say "I'm gonna get better about thinking things through". But then, for some god-forsaken reason ,when that moment comes around again I ignore my conscience because, "Hey these are completely different circumstances." 

Not.

"Why did I go to that party?" "Why did I have that extra beer?" "Why didn't I ignore that craving I got for cookie dough?" "Why didn't I have someone else come pick me up?"

These are all of the questions running through my head as I sit outside the emergency room waiting for my brother to get out of surgery. There aren't actually any good answers for any of them, other than gut instinct. The real question: "When will I get the stick out of my ass and start thinking things through?". The answer: "Probably never".

So instead I just sit here, hating myself and my gut instinct, waiting for the doctors to give me some, hopefully good, news.