Déjà vu

Chapter 9: Road Trip Part II

Kellin’s POV

The next morning, I woke up to Gabe bouncing up and down right beside me on the bed. “Alright, I’m up. Quit bouncing!” I shoved him away and heard him laugh, but he got off the bed. Slowly, I climbed up from the bed, the memories of the events from last night rushing back. “Justin, can you go make sure their up?” I put more venom into the word ‘their’ than I meant to. I didn’t look at Justin on my way to the bathroom.

I let the hot water wash off some of the stress and tension away from my body. My muscles relaxed for a while, but as soon as I stepped out, I shivered from the sudden cold and the tension returned.

After throwing on a pair of skinny jeans and a tank top, we packed quickly and met outside in the hallway. I avoided eye contact with everyone else and started for the elevator. Down in the lobby, I took the keys from my pocket and looked toward Jesse. “Hey Jess, why don’t you drive? I’m gonna get some extra sleep.” I lied as I tossed him the keys.

He glanced back Raelyn who was walking just a step behind him with Max. I dared a look at her and saw her shrug at him, but I saw what looked like hurt in her blue eyes. I shook away any thoughts that came to mind that eradicated my current feelings of hate for her.

Everyone climbed into the van. I sat in the last row with Ash beside me, but he sat as far from me as possible, which I was happy for. I had no plan for sleeping whatsoever, but slid my sunglasses over my eyes and shoved my earphones in my ear so I could pretend. I hit play and Foo Fighters blared in my ears a second later, drowning out any noise in the van. I looked over at Raelyn sitting in the passenger seat next to Jesse. My heart still pounded when I saw how beautiful she was. I started to remember the first time I saw her. She looked so beautiful with the sun at her back, creating a halo around her body. It was like God himself was presenting me with the greatest gift in the world and saying, “Here you go, son, the love of your life. Don’t screw it up!” Even after everything, she was beautiful, and that would never change.

I mentally shook the thought away and lost myself in the loud music in my ears. Hours passed and I pretended to sleep with my head against the window, staring out at the scenery. My phone alerted me of new messages more than a few times, causing the music to fade out and then in again. I ignored it the best I could. Besides, I was supposed to be sleeping, right? After what felt like the twentieth message, I was extremely annoyed and when the phone beeped in my ear and I couldn’t help saying, “Jesus!” aloud. Ash looked over at me, freaked out, but didn’t say anything.  Looking at the phone, I had about fifteen messages, most of which were from Raelyn. The heart was still next to her name.

Jess: Hey dude, you okay?

Justin: What’s goin’ on with you? Why aren’t you sitting next to Rae?

Raelyn: Are you okay?

Raelyn: I can tell you’re not sleeping.

Raelyn: What did I do wrong?

Raelyn:  Kel, please talk to me. You’re my best friend!!! I hate that you’re angry with me.

Raelyn: I’m going to stop bugging you.

Raelyn: Jesus, just answer me!!!

They went on for much longer. The phone beeped again and I had to hold back the animalistic growl forming deep in my chest. It was another message from Raelyn.

Raelyn: Are you ready to talk to me?

I rolled my eyes and typed back a message to her, praying that if I answered her, she’d leave me along.

Me: No, I’m not. You don’t get it, you never will. Just forget it and leave me alone, alright? If I want to talk to you, I will. Goodbye.

Perhaps I was being a little cruel, maybe she meant well, but I didn't want to deal with her right now. Beneath my lashes, I watched her read the message as she received it. The look on her face, it was a look of hurt. I didn’t want to admit it, but it broke my heart even more. I didn’t like hurting her, but how could I know that that look of hurt on her face was even real? Then I saw the tears in her eyes. She looked back at me, and I turned away before she could see that I was watching her.

When I thought it that it was safe, I looked back in her direction. She was looking out the window.

I turned back to mine and tuned back into the Aerosmith song that was playing and tried to close my eyes. But every time I did, I saw the tears in her eyes and felt that pain in my heart once again.

Thirty minutes later, Jesse pulled the van into a small diner somewhere outside Battle Creek, Michigan, just an hour from home. I guess the guys just couldn’t wait to eat. Then I remembered the miniscule breakfast we’d had this morning, meaning we didn’t actually eat anything, just stopped by Starbucks. I still wished that Jesse would just keep driving. Now I’d probably have to talk to her and I wasn’t ready for that.

Inside the diner, I sat as far away from Raelyn as I could and looked over the menu without a word. Our waitress came and took our drink orders. She was a pretty blonde girl who stood next to me while taking our orders. She turned to me and batted her long eyelashes. She was an obvious flirt.

I caught Raelyn’s eye and saw her glaring at the waitress whose nametag read: Tiffany. She seemed almost jealous, and that thought brought me some satisfaction. I decided to have a little fun with her and I flirted with Tiffany right back.

While everyone else joked around, I sat quietly on my side of the table and played a random game on my phone, only halfway paying attention to what I was doing. When someone said something to me, I kept my answers short and avoided too much. I thought they could tell I wasn’t really in the mood to joke around so they didn’t say much to me.

Tiffany brought out our orders soon after and smirked down at me flirtatiously when she set my plate down in front of me. I winked at her, making her to giggle and blush. Raelyn’s face turned bright red and I smirked to myself and started eating my meal without another glance in her direction.