Blessing {Smillan Fanfiction}

Karen's P.O.V.

I stared down at the item in my hand, my heart pounding. This tiny, white, slim thing was causing my heart to beat ten to the dozen, who'd have known that such a simple object could do that? Is this what it felt like, realising that everything in your life was about to change? Did the other women feel like this? Probably not. They didn't have as much on the line.

This little white pissy stick, with two very clear lines. The lines that could only mean one thing in my life at this moment in time... Trouble.

It hadn't occurred to me that this could be a possibility. That I would end up like this. A stressful few weeks could simply have been the cause, but then I remembered; I never miss one, not even by a day. It's always exact.

How could I have been so stupid? How could we be so stupid?! Oh god. Him, it was his. He had so much more going for him than I did. I couldn't ruin everything for him, his future, plans, life. I can't hurt him with this stupid little pissy stick's revelation. It just wouldn't be fair.

But it takes two to tango, Karen. It was an accident. Well, not the 'tango' so to speak... I'd thought we were careful. In fact, we were. I didn't even realise that something bad could've happened during that moment of joy. That small amount of ecstasy and delight of the night, the tingling heat of two bodies entwined, the creation of something that could not be a blessing. Not at this stage in our lives.

I pushed the toilet lid down and sat on top of it, staring at the stick again. It's just one, it might not even be right, Karen.. Who was I kidding?! I felt the tears start to sting in my eyes as I reached into the sink and picked up the second one. Two lines. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath before grabbing the third. Two lines. This was happening. Three tests in a row couldn't be wrong.

I was pregnant, well and truly up the duff. Got a bun in the oven. And all I wanted to do was cry. It wasn't a blessing... It felt like a curse.