kalopsia;;yoonseok

2;;

final part ^^" i will put warning on this, there is graphic content near the end. sorry if seems rushed, it's almost 6 am and i woke up an hour ago. i hope to get back to sleep for a bit, but wanted to get this part out ^^... sorry for not doodling yoongi, like said i might...

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january 24th, 10:27 a.m., seoul

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min yoongi's p.o.v

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i'm on my way to see him.

i hope he is excited to see me. i picked up coffee on the way for us to share. i left him a text before i left. he hasn't replied. he always replies right away. but that's okay. maybe he's sleeping, or out at the market. he doesn't leave his apartment much, it seems. except for when he's with me. i think he likes the view from my apartment more. he can see the city better, he says.

i'm on the front steps.

the coffee is burning my fingers. steam rises from the cup and heats up my face. should i knock? there's been many days like this. always deciding if i should knock, or let myself in. he got upset when i knocked. he always told me i didn't need to do that. 'that's why i gave you a key,' his gentle voice says in the back of my mind. i smile, remembering that day.

we had been together for 7 months.

it was summer. the sun beat harshly down on seoul. we had gone for ice cream. his usual scent was instead one of vanilla, sweet and simple. it was one of the best days we spent together. even if he dripped ice cream all over his shirt. even if he almost broke his glasses. it was one of the best days because i got to see his smile. not a halfway smile like these days, either. i wish i could go back to then.

we had gotten back to his apartment. he told me he had a surprise for me. as we walked inside, he gave me a small key. it had a baby blue ribbon wrapped around it. i still have the ribbon. 'now you don't have to knock, hyung,' his voice was still gentle, but laced with happiness. i remember the way our hands brushed as i took it. he has such smooth hands.

the coffee is still burning mine.

i should go inside now. i fished the small key out of my pocket, letting myself in. it was unusually quiet. but he wasn't gone. his shoes were sitting neatly by the door. his apartment was always so clean. 'hello?' my voice rang out clearly through the house. i looked in the living area. then his bedroom. he wasn't sleeping. i set the coffee down on his nightstand.

this is different.

this isn't like the other days. days he would hear my voice, and call back cheerily 'hello, hyung~! i've missed you,' and i would remind him he could visit whenever he pleased. the view from his apartment wasn't as pretty. it was lonely without him around. soon after he would come into view. he would run up to me like an excited kid, enveloping me in a hug. but there's no cheerful call back. there's no warm hugs.

maybe i'll call his phone.

i dialed his number, and waited. after a few moments of silence, i heard it. his phone. did he leave it behind? no, he's not forgetful like that. i didn't hang up. i followed the music to the bathroom. the door was shut. 'baby?' i lightly tapped on the door. 'are you in there?' i pressed my forehead against the door. the light was on inside the room.

no response.

'is it okay if i come in?' my tone was soft and patient. no reply. i could feel my palms get sweaty as i anxiously waited. i was getting worried. he would never ignore me. should i call his phone again? no. he won't answer. i hope he's okay. 'i'm coming in,'

i put my hand on the knob.

the handle twisted achingly slow. the door creaked as it opened. i hesitated halfway through. a lump formed in my throat. it was hard to breathe or swallow. i bit my chapped lips. they were never as soft as his. i closed my eyes. the rest of the door slowly opened.

my heart stopped.

this isn't real. i will wake up. he will be sitting at the old chair. 'the snow is pretty,' he'll turn to me and smile. the person in front of me is not him. there's small pills on the floor. baby blue in color. my stomach is turning. there's a person in the bathtub. his arms and legs are indescribable. my knees gave out. i'm kneeling next to the tub. i take one of his hands in mine. he didn't hold it back.

this isn't my angel.

if it was him he would hold my hand. i ran my fingers lightly across the wrist. the deep cuts felt weird. there was too much blood. it was too sticky, too warm. the metallic scent in the air made me sick. his head was lolled back, lips parted slightly. i gently touched his bottom lip. still so soft. i wiped away the blood from his lips. his eyes are closed. his soft lashes brushing against his tanned skin. i kissed his forehead, brushing hair from his eyes.

he was still beautiful.

everything about this seemed so beautiful in a way. his face was slowly becoming paler. the blood mixed into the cool water. it was turning pinkish. his shirt was torn in too many places. he started to cut his shirts a lot. he told me it was a habit. he picked it up from his friend. i took his hand again. it was so cold.

i won't leave him alone.

i picked up the pills on the floor. there were so many. such a mess. i looked at him again. i won't have to say goodbye. i took the pills. they were hard to swallow. they almost got caught in my throat. i ran my tongue over my chapped lips. there's no time for regrets, now. i hope everyone understands why. 'i won't leave you alone,' i whispers to his lifeless body.

i got into the tub.

i laid on top of him. the cool water soaked my legs and chest. i left one more kiss on his lips. my head is resting on his shoulder. he's so cold. i laced my fingers with his. we can be together again. my eyes are starting to feel heavy. my mind is growing quiet. i hope he will be happy to see me.

i think i'll take a nap now.