Wide Awake

Self-Reflections

When Lauren dropped off Bo she took off on her bike. There was too many things going through the Seethe's head and she needed time to process it all. She was on the highway now gliding her bike through traffic. The wind passing over her felt incredible as if she was flying. It was good remembering how she used to ride her bike all the time. The last time she rode her bike was before she met Nadia, before her nightmare started. There was anger building inside her. Anger for what the old Ash did, for the time she lost, and for the ways she was taken advantage of when she was just a human. She revved the bike and hit 80mph. It was like she was one with the bike easily moving it through sharp turns, getting so low the sparks were flying up from the foot stand hitting the hard pavement. Every move her body made the bike responded.

The seethe was shocked for giving into Bo's seduction that easily. It felt good being with her intimately again. Knowing every curve on her body, every place to touch, and having the power to dominate the sexy succubus was satisfying. She felt more powerful than she did since remembering everything. Only at 30% of her power before Bo, after she did a self scan and estimated to be around 45%. She has been with Shay, Kaya, Jade and Aurora for 4 months now. Primarily Shay, and was only able to reach 30% in her weakened and drained state. When she had to use her powers to help out a fae, like she did with Kenzi, it was draining to her energy. Using too much telekinetic energy was draining as well. She felt a charge when she was with Bo. As much as she wanted to she couldn't deny it something was there with Bo. They always had chemistry even when she thought she was just human. This was different. They charged and powered each other and that just complicated things even further. Lauren couldn't forget how Bo made her feel. Bo leaning over Dyson when bringing him back to life was etched into her memory. Just like the memory of Tamsin smiling telling her how she kissed Bo and it wasn't even to feed. The sting she felt at the harshness of the words. The realization that she would never fit in Bo's world, she had to laugh at the irony, because as it turns out Lauren was beyond important to all of faedom.

Then there was Shay. She had feelings for Shay. It is hard for a Seethe to develop deep feelings and true connections but she knew Shay mattered to her. The memories of how she felt when human Lauren wasn't enough for Bo and knowing she had to be with others was painful. As much as the scientist in her knew it had to be that way didn't make it any less painful. Now she was doing that very same thing to Shay. Her human memories flooded into her Seethe memories, with that she knew she still did love Bo. If the succubus wanted her back she was going to have to prove it. No longer foolish Human Lauren running to Bo and her every need. No, this time was different. This time she was the head of the triangle. Right now Shay stands in first. Even though the power and connection with the brunette was electrifying, she trusted Shay more. Funniest part was the stronger she became the more she realized that she wasn't even sure if she wanted a relationship. The last one she had made her weak and she was cursed. Following that there was the one she had when she was cursed, which was almost a curse in itself. Loving Bo wasn't easy. Still wasn't easy.

She turned the bike off road. She put down the kick stand and cut the engine. The blonde had no idea how long she road for but where she was right now was beautiful. Gorgeous woods and breathtaking mountains were all around her. Breathless! The word just popped into her head. How long ago that was. Before she was a couple with the succubus, back when she had to fight the Garuda, and how her help was the reason he was beaten. Did the group even realize without her Bo wouldn't have been able to beat him. She shook her head, these thoughts needed to go, she knew where she stood with Bo and made it as clear as she could. They would have to take it from there. The Seethe would see where her heart would lead her, if it led her anywhere. There was also Kaya. Funny how she became important to the blonde as well, what a twist, she was the one with 3 choices. She closed her eyes remembering 4 months ago how Evony saved her life after she was the one who ordered the hit on it. Bringing on the memory of the first time she met Kaya.