Prison IV

Error 404, Universe Doomed. Oops!

Hello! Fortunately I have been able to find some writing utensils and whatnot in this desolate wasteland they call . . . well that's not important what they call it. So, seeing as I'm writing my memoirs at the end of the Universe as we know it, I might as well speak in a very fourth wall breaking tone! You, the reader, will probably never see these words for they will be completely obliterated from Time (if we're lucky).

I am what one would call a modern day Dr. Frankenstein mixed with Nikola Tesla, except with more lasers and tea. Perhaps a nerdy alien loving Dr. Frankentesla. I have many passions! I like to experiment with gadgets and organs I frequently buy off the black market! I frequent in attempting to pick up extra-terrestrial signals, mixing mushrooms together with other herbs in hope to discover new and new types of tea, and other medicinal herbs that have been long forgotten in the roughly 4 billion years of the Earth.

I even live in a 400 foot tall tower in the middle of of Colorado! I call it Wardenclyffe
2.0. Nikola Tesla was my role model growing up and I had always told mum and da that I had wanted to search for alien electromagnetic signals bouncing into the Earth's atmosphere like a child bouncing into a Chuck E. Cheese's. You know, when that company was even remotely relevant or entertaining. Alas! 2018 and Chuck E. Cheese's is utterly and completely . . . well shit. Anyway, this memoir is not to be titled "The Downfall of Chuck E. Cheese's", I shall call it . . . something along the lines of The Most Fascinating and Wondrous Book in All of the Known Universe from the Intergalactic Federation to the United Galaxies of Laniakea to the Lands of Mordor Written, Edited and Published by a Most Handsome and Intellectually Capable, Probably Mentally Disturbed, Pizza Roll Loving Modern Doctor Frankenstein.

It is known by many that aliens exist. Other worlds like Earth, and even to the extremes of Time Travel, Teleportation, Warp Speed, Multiple Universes, and Elves existing. I am here to confirm yes they do indeed all exist. And many things that haven't even been conceptualized by humans on Earth. It's quite ironic that while so many fascinating technologies exist, I've resorted to using a makeshift graphite like tool to write in a completely empty and clear journal I had purchased from the nearest galactic convenient store. I came to this planet in hopes of crying my heart out alone and weeping for the suffering and death of six hundred vigintillion intelligent (6 and 65 zeros!) lives about to be lost (and who knows how many amoebas!) as a result of my doings.

My name is Jason Gorva, and this is the story of how I was thrown into an intergalactic prison, and proceeded to accidentally destroy the Universe.