The Lyre: Harry Styles Fanfiction

Don't Judge

(Lila)

Gwen immediately stopped talking when a server came into the room with two more Pina Coladas for us.

We thanked her for the delicious drinks and after she left, I looked at Gwen.

"Jesus, Gwen!", I stared at her.
"That's...just...I just can't imagine", I said, thinking of the intensity of everything she told me that happened that night at Niall's with Theo.

"Yeah, Niall and Theo didn't exactly get off to the best start", Gwen said.

"Well, now I get why Niall doesn't exactly like him", I said, reaching to put my glass down on the table next to us.

"I wish I could say that's the only reason, but it's not", Gwen said, biting her cheek.
"Some....things happened, later"

"Theo....", I almost said "getting you pregnant", remembering what Niall told me, but decided against saying it.

If she wanted to tell me about that part, she would.
"What?", I said, instead.

I watched the smallest of smirks begin to bud on Gwen's lips. It had an odd swirl of embarrassment, playfulness and shame in it.

"Promise not to judge?", she raised an eyebrow.

(Cheryl)

I laid on the bed in the guest bedroom, crying and clutching the ring that Liam had tossed onto it.

I didn't know how long I'd been in there, but I began to feel lonelier than I'd ever felt before.

I needed a friend, even though I didn't deserve to be comforted.

I deserve this pain

I was full of acute anguish.
Even if it was just for a fleeting moment, I needed so badly to feel any amount of understanding.

I wasn't infallible, I was just a girl.
A girl who'd made a gigantic mistake.

Taking a deep breath, I sat up, reached for my phone and scrolled to the name I was looking for: Ellie

I needed someone who wouldn't bullshit me just to make me feel better and Ellie was very logical and fair.

She could set her personal feelings aside and look at a situation, unbiased.

"Hey!", her cheery voice answered through my phone.

"Hey", I said with a stuffed nose.
"Cheryl? What's wrong?", she obviously noticed.

"I know you're at work and I completely understand if things are too busy. Is there any way you could come over?", I asked, quietly.

"I'll be there in a half hour", she said and we hung up. My doorbell rang thirty three minutes later.

Ellie and I sat in my kitchen and she searched my face.
"What's up", she asked me, not in a friendly manner, but sincerely.

"Liam and I", I looked at her and shook my head, not being able to say the words we broke up.

Ellie sat patiently and waited for me to speak when I was ready.

"We're over", I said in almost a whisper, shocked that I had any tears left as a few more spilled from my eyes.

"Why?", she asked almost angrily, not because she was mad, but because she didn't want to accept what I said.

"I cheated on him, Eleanor", I pitifully looked into her eyes as they widened from my confession.

"After I told him, he tossed this next to me and left", I opened my hand, placing the diamond ring on the countertop.

"Oh, Cheryl", Ellie looked down at it, "Wait, who did you cheat on him with?"

"A man who came into the shop one day. Zayn. That night I went to his house and we had sex. It was just the one time, but....that's all it takes", I said, regretfully.

"Did you and Liam talk at all? I mean, he just left? You didn't say anything about maybe working things out?"

I just shook my head.

"Okay....well, yeah, you fucked up, Cheryl, but what's that....that saying in the Bible? "He who is without sin, cast the first stone" or some shit? We all mess up. You guys can't just throw it all away because of one mistake! It's worth it to just ask Liam if he'd be willing to try to work through this!"

"I'm just so ashamed and humiliated and now I've humiliated him", I admitted.

"Why did you?", Ellie asked me, not judging, just trying to understand my actions, " You two are really serious, I mean....", she said, looking down and pointing to the ring.

"At first, I didn't know what was drawing me to Zayn....then after that night with him, I realized that I wanted to feel that rush again, you know?"

Ellie nodded and remained quiet as I started to nervously bite one of my nails.

"Some....excitement. I wasn't after romance, I just wanted hot, wild fucking", I said, unabashedly, thinking back to that night with Zayn.

"I love Liam. I sincerely do. But I felt a physical...vibe when I met Zayn. It was immediate. I didn't know what it was, but whatever it was, I wanted more of what he was making me feel", I went on.

"My heart is Liam's, but my body needed Zayn", I finished.

"How do you feel about Zayn, now?", Ellie asked.

I sat, continuing to bite my fingernail.
"If I'm completely honest with myself. If another opportunity came up, I can't say that I wouldn't....want Zayn again", I said, the raw truth.

"God, what is wrong with me, Ellie?", I looked at her, begging her with my eyes to answer me, embarrassed of my admission.
"It can't be normal to cheat on someone you love and then not be able to say you wouldn't do it again, I feel like a monster", I added.

"You're not a monster, you're just....human. We all have our own shit", Ellie answered.

"Right. Says you, Miss Perfect", I rolled my eyes.

"Far from perfect, Cher", she shook her head.

"Name one immoral thing you've ever done", I smirked sadly at her, knowing she couldn't.

"Okay, but first? Tell no one", Ellie looked me in the eye.
"And second, just don't judge me", she finished.