The Wings of Truth

4.

Eren had been surprised when Levi had knocked on his barrack door just before curfew, but when he explained that Hanji would want him the day after next, well things made sense then.

"Yaeger," Levi stated as he entered the barrack, a few cadets scrambling to clothe themselves and others scrambling to salute, Eren being one of the later and hitting his head on Armin's bunk as he jolted up.

"Yes sir," he replied as the others eased up upon seeing that it was just Levi coming to see Eren. Levi beckoned him over before pulling Eren from the room to speak with him so as to leave his barrack alone. "Everything alright?" Worried eyes met his steel grey ones and he wanted so badly to tell him what would happen the next day, but he couldn't. He had always dealt with it alone and he didn't know how to let others into such a fragile and vulnerable part of his mind.

"I hope you are feeling better," Levi offered and the boy perked up, nodding happily and rocking on his heels.

"I feel fine, corporal! I think I may have just gotten sick from something I ate, Sasha had some outside food that we all ate and a lot of us weren't feeling the best today," Eren recounted and a soft smile almost broke onto Levi's lips as Eren excitedly assured him that he was quite fine as of now. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, a number of reasons, Eren. I am firstmost your guardian in the eyes of the military so I should take concern of your health, but beyond that I am your corporal," he replied, noting that Eren's excitement began to dampen as he took the political route. He gave a soft kiss to the boy's lips and watched as his eyes lit up like a thousand brilliant stars. "And I am your boyfriend. My job is to care for your health. Listen," he spoke, tone taking on a serious manner as he placed a hand on the younger's shoulder. "Tomorrow is my day off, and I will not be around. Do not look for me, I will be fine. This is your first year and I didn't want to alarm you when I suddenly took off on my day to myself. I will be back in the evening sometime tomorrow, but I am asking that you leave me be. My days off are not to be with friends but for me to take some time to myself." The lie burnt his tongue as he let it pass. He had filed for his day off to land on the anniversary every year, and they allowed it. He wanted the comfort of others, but he didn't know how to take it from anyone else but Isabel, and when it was her that he was mourning for with Farlan haunting his thoughts as well, it was hard to take solace in her memory. "The day after, Hanji will want to take a blood sample from you and run a few small tests, I'm sure, since she asked me today, but I postponed it. I expect you to be ready."

"Why aren't you around on your day off?" Eren asked and the words hurt. Eren wanted to know why Levi planned to disappear the next day and Levi knew that he couldn't tell him that he went outside Wall Maria every year to spend the day at where they died. The boy would worry about his safety if he knew. Fourteen years without any accident wouldn't matter to Eren, he'd still worry.

"I have someplace to be," he answered and the look in Eren's eyes told him that Eren wanted more of an explanation than that. He couldn't give it to him despite wanting to. "I attend to something every year on my day off, so do not worry. All will be fine."

As Eren woke up the next day and made his way to the mess hall he saw Levi and Hanji leaving the staircase with a pair of saddlebags and maneuver gear. Levi looked like he was preparing for a mission rather than to go on a day off. He ran up to the pair and hesitated when he heard what they were talking about. "Get any sleep last night? You'll need it for your trip," Hanji prompted and he gave a soft grunt and a shake of his head. She knew him well enough to understand that if he had gotten any sleep, it was ravaged with nightmares and that he surely woke up Mike and Erwin with it. It was always rough for them on the days around the anniversary because Levi seemed to lose touch with himself when he lost his mind to his memories. "That's too bad," she breathed as she walked with him, helping him carry the saddle bags and spare blades for the gear down to the stables where he'd be leaving from.