In the Stars

...Forever

The day was bright and the birds were chirping upon their branches in the trees. Yet my mood didn't feel as sunny and as bright as the day. I know you told me not to worry or be sad but I can't help but wish I had had more time with you. This is why I am standing over your grave, staring mindlessly at the plaque that reads "Matthew Wren 1985-2013 Beloved son and friend. His legacy will go on"

I remember the first time someone called you a legacy, you gave a bashful smile and nodded off the comment. But once we got home, you had a sad glint in your eyes and you wouldn't look at me for too long. I slept in your arms that night with tears in my eyes, because I felt your pain. I didn't know exactly where it was coming from but I remember holding you tighter. 

If only I had held on forever. 

I kneel down on the plush and scratchy green grass. The metal is cool under my touch and I fight back a sob. In my hand I clutch a dozen forget-me-nots. 

I let out a snort, "Remember Matt, when we watched that horrible movie Forget Me Not and even though we hated it, I remember you always brought something back up about it," I heave in a sigh.

I clutch the flowers a bit tighter then loosen my grip in fear of damaging them, "Even though the flowers in that movie symbolized something creepy, I remember you giving me one out of nowhere," I run my fingers over the soft petals, "Because to you it was a reminder of one of the first "scary" movies we watched together."

I make air quote signs with my fingers because it wasn't scary. I gently lay down the dozen forget-me-nots on top of his plaque. 

"So," I speak in a whisper, "These are for you."

I tilt my head up and squint my eyes at the bright sun. Lowering my head down, I focus on the flowers. 

"Just so it wouldn't feel morbid also, I brought a dozen roses." I gently laid those down as well. 

I stood up, brushing off any grass and clasping my hands together. 

"I'll never forget you, Matthew," my eyes burned with un-shed tears, "And I will always love you. Forever." 

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and started walking towards the cemetery gates. 

I soaked in as much bright and sunniness as I could because even though Matthew is gone, I have to go on and live, for both of us. 

For me. For him. Because I promised him forever life.