Every day, I'm asked the same question. What to do today, to avoid my depression. I ask myself this every day. Although I know it's not healthy to live this way. Three years, every day, it's a constant battle. To deal with the snake without getting it to rattle. Waking up and living every day, asking myself whether I should go or should I stay. At this point, I've stuck out so badly. But it's only my family that's ever bothered me, sadly. The every day people, they laugh and they stare. But I know it's not worth it, and I personally don't care. I didn't want to talk, only because I saw myself as inferior. Not that it's what I showed, but of my interior. I was scared, afraid and alone. Never truly knowing what to call my home. I never felt safe, I always felt pain. There was no place to go just to keep myself sane. I kept my problems to myself, in fear that someone might worry. To death, I always found myself in a hurry. Not knowing what to do with myself. Nobody was ever there to give help. I wouldn't accept it anyways, because I was too blind to accept it, I was in a haze. Only ever saw myself as a weight. Just slowing everyone down and being a useless pawn of fate. Soon after that, I found myself in a new situation. Instead of dealing with one thing, it was depression and aggression. I hated myself inside and with no one to confide, my hatred came out and I just let it slide. I didn't mean to push them further away, I swear. But at that point, my words meant nothing to them, they don't even care. When you break a plate, it's going to stay broken. No matter hoy many apologies you've voiced and spoken. The pool of sorrow and anger, I was already knee deep in. Little did I realize how has sunken beneath the skin. I finally pushed myself over the edge, I peered straight down from the ledge. I questioned myself, was it worth it? But I refused to answer the question, for silence was the only answer that fit...
