Career Day

"Is that all of them?"

The assistant manager fixes her eyes just beyond the tip of my ear, her impatient words churning out between her teeth, propelled by Wrigley's-generated saliva.

"Yep, I just had two."

"Either you were always doing laundry, or you smelled like armpit while serving people's food. Maybe that's why they sacked you." She honks after deciding what she just said was hilarious. The pink wad does a jitterbug on her tongue.

"Look, can I go please?"

The girl stops laughing and looks me in the eye while narrowing her own, as if she's trying to scan me for any malicious intentions I may be hiding. She nods.

"Bye."

Right on cue, I pivot for the exit, sweating to get out and be swallowed back into the world of incognito.

"Hold up."

What? They're gonna give me my job back?

The assistant manager walks toward me until her unreadable face is inches from my wary one. She opens her mouth as if to speak. Her hand reaches up and plucks the battered Wrigley impaled upon her yellow tooth, and then she folds it in mine as if sending me away with a parting gift. She even gives the hand a little pat.

I'm paralyzed from my wrist to my fingers. I think I'm going to be sick.

She raises the corners of her lips. "Take care of that for me."

"As she wheels back around, my curse is lifted, and I'm jolted into animation, barreling onto the sidewalk. Trash can. Trash can. No trash can. By impulse, I turn my palm over and shake the wad onto the tortured concrete.

"Hey!"

The shrill of a squat accountant-type man slaps against the back of my right shoulder. He screams at me from behind his saucer-sized bifocals, his eyes bulging beneath the magnifying lenses like bubbles.

"Now this is the last straw!" He slips off his left peeling loafer and wags it up my nostrils. I've had it with you kids tossing your gum anywhere you go, anywhere but the trashcan. This has happened too many times, and—hey! I'm not through with you!"

Two giant circles heckle my back.

I make a beeline for my apartment and open the door to find my roommate sitting on the couch (my bed) expectantly. Her brunette head shoots up as soon as the door clicks, her eager eyes overflowing with a message before her voice can catch up.

"Kate," I half greet, half question, "you're home."

She bats away the observation's apparent irrelevance. "Yeah, yeah, I took off from work today."

I shrug and let my gaze wander the room. "...So, was there something you wanted to talk about? Cause I'm about to jump in the shower."

Kate exhales dramatically, relieved I aided her lead-in. "Actually, now that you mention it, there is something I'd like to discuss with you." As if she wasn't bursting through her foundation to speak. "Come here, take a seat." She pats the vacant spot next to her and draws a deep breath, her face all cosmetics and seriousness.

"Well you know that our living situation was never going to be permanent. Like, we can't be twenty-something roommates forever." She titters nervously.

"Actually, I'm the single one. You're seeing my boss so..."

"Er, well, former boss..." she adds awkwardly.