You fell in love with my body and then soon after personality and you decided I was perfect.
I tried my hardest with selfies and long messages made up in my head that took all night so you would have a smile on your face when you woke up and saw them. I did it so that you would still call me perfect.
But I should have been the one waking up to a picture of your morning face and a novel long message professing your love for me. I should have been the one who called you perfect.
We talked for hours and I gave you cute messages for you to read when you got off work so that you would say "Baby, you're perfect."
I fell in love with you and your flaws and accepted them as my own and made you a place in my heart because I wanted to still be perfect.
We both had a past of rejection and pain. Things that shouldn't have happened. But I put away my insecurities and believed when you said I was perfect.
Then one day you were over stressed and I said "Baby, its ok." I supported you and tried to help. But what I got in return was a shock to my heart and brain. You had asked for a break. Now I was hating myself. It had to have been my fault. How would someone want a break if they insisted I was perfect?
I took it so well and you were glad I understood. But in reality I didn't. You still called me perfect but now I was unsure. Why would you need a break. To better the relationship, to make us stronger? That can be done without a break. "We rushed it" you said and I felt that it was my fault but how could I not be excited for our future? How could I not talk about the future if you insisted I was perfect. You said you wanted it too. Was my perfection fading away? Or was I not perfect?
You didn't see how I felt, you only heard my voice when I said I support a break. But inside I was breaking. I was falling apart and my world came crashing down to realize that I wasn't perfect for you. I cried myself to sleep wondering what I did wrong. Will I ever be perfect in someone's eyes? I've tried so hard and it always ends in heart break. Why can't I be so perfect?
So now I wait for the break to be over and for my heart to heal again. Hoping that one day I will sit in your eyes, one day again I'll be perfect...
