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Dear, Diary
Today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say, "im fine thank you. Yes i feel much better" I will no longer be the sad little girl that lost her parents. i will start fresh, be someone new. Its the only way i'll make it through.
Dear, Diary
I made it through the day. I must of said "im fine thanks"atleast 37 times, and i didnt mean it once. But no one noticed. When someone asks "how are you?" they really dont want an answer.
Dear, Diary
I was wrong. I thought that I could smile and nod my way through it, pretend like it would all be okay. I had a plan, I wanted to change who I was, create a life with someone new. Without the past, without the pain. Someone alive. But it's not that easy. The bad things stay with you. They follow you. You can't escape them, as much as you want to. All you can do is be ready for the good, so when it comes, you invite it in. Because you need it. I need it.
Dear, Diary
This morning was different. There's change. I can sense it, feel it. For once, I don't regret the day before it begins. Because I know I will see him again. For the first time in a long time, I feel good. I tried. I want so much to make things right but every instinct in my body is telling me to be careful. What you don't know can hurt you.
Elena talking to stefan
I would write... Dear Diary: Today I convinced myself it was okay to give up. Don't take risks. Stick with the status quo. No drama. Now is just not the time. But, my reasons aren't reasons, they're excuses. All I'm doing is hiding from the truth and truth is that... I'm scared, Stefan. I'm scared that if I let myself to be happy for even one moment that... the world's just going to come crashing down, and I... I don't know if I can survive that.
Dear, Diary
I am not a believer. People are born, they grow old, and then they die. That's the world we live in. There's no magic, no mysticism, no immortality. There is nothing that defies rational thought. People are supposed to be who they say they are, and not lie or hide their true selves. It's not possible. I'm not a believer. I can't be..But, how can I deny what's right in front of me? Someone who never gets old, never gets hurt. Someone who changes in ways that can't be explained. Girls bitten. Bodies drained of blood.
Dear, Diary
I know its been a while. A long while. I haven't needed... I haven't wanted to write this stuff down, but I don't want to say it out loud either. The thing is: I'm a vampire, and I hate it. I feel hopeless, depressed, angry... but most of all, I'm scared. Part of me just wants to end it, but then I think of Jeremy. I'm all that he has left, so I need to find a way through this. No matter what it takes.
Dear, Dairy
Today I did the thing I was most afraid of. I lost control. I killed someone. I used to think the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you loved, but I was wrong. The worst feeling is the moment that you realize that you've lost yourself.
Dear, Diary
Do you ever get sick of me writing about death? It's been four days since Bonnie died-- or four days since I found out Bonnie died. She wanted me to go back to school, so here I am, back at school-- studying, going to class, trying to move on like everyone else. Stefan had it easiest. He doesn't even remember Bonnie. Not that anybody has seen him except for Caroline, who's back with Tyler... He's been a healthy distraction for her, to say the least. And I've adopted my own distraction-- Dr. Wes Maxfield. My roommate was killed by a vampire, and Dr. Maxfield covered it up, and I'd like to know why. Besides, the more I have to think about, the less time I have to miss Bonnie.
Dear, Diary
I love my life. Seriously, becoming Elena Gilbert is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I finally have everything I ever wanted. I'm young, healthy, gorgeous. Everyone loves me. But best of all, I'm a vampire again. So, rest in peace Elena. Thanks for giving me your perfect life. And, now that I've corrected the single worst decision you've ever made-- falling in love with Damon Salvatore-- I'm gonna win back the one thing I've always wanted. This entry was written by Katherine, while she was possessing Elena.
Dear, Diary
Spent the day on the road with Stefan. Although, the highlight was our little pit stop at the hotel, I had to wash up after "accidentally" getting grease on my shirt. So, rest in peace, favorite shirt. But I'd say it was worth it. You know when you want something really bad and you put that energy into the world and you get what you want? That's exactly how I am with Stefan... The rest of this entry is unknown. This entry was written by Katherine, while she was possessing Elena.
Dear, Diary
If you're reading this, then someone spilled the beans about your selective memory loss. My money's on caroline. Yes, you loved Damon. You loved him with a passion that consumed you, and then when Damon died, the void he filled was too deep. Too dark. Facing an eternity without your soul-mate, you went off the deep end. You turned into someone that you weren't: a monster. Alaric can restore your lost memories. All you have to do is ask. But, I hope that you don't. I tried it the other way, and... I didn't see an end to the pain. I want you to rediscover yourself, in the absence of the one that defined you. If you feel any hope for the future at all, then you're already better off. You've been given a chance to start over. I want you to take it. I want you to be happy.
