Full Moon | DΞΔN

Chapter 3

-I re-edited this chapter because I was reading it today and felt unsatisfied. I want you guys to read good stuff and I felt like I was boring you guys with this chapter. Hopefully, it is better now :) --K

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Cassy's POV

The wind is blowing softly against my face and I smile. I am alone in my very own safe haven - which I ironically called "Heaven", just because - and I feel my worries drift away as the cool breeze blows on. This is one of my favorite places in Korea. I can be myself here without worrying how I should act, and who I should be. Cassandra Caldwell or Hwang Hae In, it didn't matter. I was me.

It has been a while since I've visited Korea. This visit, however, wasn't done willingly on my part. If my mom hadn't forced a ticket on me I wouldn't have come here. She said it was so I could meet this artist she thinks has potential. But I didn't even know anything about the artist she was talking about. Well, other than he's had plenty of scandals in his career. I tried searching for his name, Dean, I think, and a whole bunch of hilarious articles came out about his supposed "Casanova Image". That amused the hell out of me, but I didn't even know the guy's face. Why the fuck would I fly to Korea to meet this person?

Not much has changed here. Maybe a few buildings here and there.  The traffic is worse, though. I recall the ride on the way to the hotel after the crazy lunatics I call my friends - namely Ji An, Miso, and Woo Jin - completely humiliated me at the airport when they picked me up. I did not expect it at all. They held up a huge banner with my face on it and the words: "QUEEN CASSANDRA HAS GRACED KOREA WITH HER GLORIOUS PRESENCE! STEP AWAY PEASANTS!" printed in large bold texts. My friends are not sane at all. I can tell you that much. But they're the only ones who make visiting this place less miserable. 

Ever since my parents divorced my life has been a series of roller coaster rides. I had to move from Seattle where we originally lived in, to LA where my dad grew up. My mother had a business of her own in Seattle so I could visit her there sometimes. But she never really had time for me. She had a business to run, countries to travel to, and 99 other responsibilities that seemed to hold more importance than her daughter. I, of course, understood. She was the CEO of a very successful international recording company. Of course, she would be busy.

My dad is the sweetest man in the world and he is an amazing father. He always made time for me even if he was busy with his work as an architect and I love him very much. But when he re-married with his co-worker, Carrie, and had a son a year after, growing up, I somehow felt out of place. Carrie is a nice woman, she was always so caring and protective of me, and I knew she loved my dad so much. She never really gave me a reason to doubt my place in our family. But sometimes, I would come home, and I would wonder if  I really belonged. Every time I saw my brother, Tristan, I think of how normal he was, and how different his was compared to me. I had wide almond shaped eyes thanks to my Korean heritage. Tristan's were round yet were deep and dark due to his deep creases. My eyes were hazel, and his a deep blue. Just like my father's. I looked like a Caucasian version  of my mother, while he was an exact replica of my father. And when you add Carrie into the mix, there really wasn't any room for me. I was the weird half-Asian in a white family. 

I wasn't sure if I would fit in with my mom's world in Korea, I couldn't speak Korean though I understood it. That made me even more insecure about myself. And I hated visiting the country because, well, I knew only a handful of people there and I was reminded that I had zero places where I belonged... But I learned to deal with this as I grew up. I had to set an example for Tristan (even if he was 17 and often acted like he was older than me). And I didn't want my father to blame himself for his daughter's insecurities. I had to deal with them and suck it up. You don't always get what you want and you have to work with what you have and what is given to you.  That was pretty clear to me as I was growing up and my parents would decide everything for me. Which University I would go to, where I should go for vacation, which course should I pursue. Everything. The only thing I had control over was my choice of friends, and I am pretty sure I made the right decision on that.