LOVE YOURSELF

TRIALS

Sabi nila ang erotic love ay madaling mawala, kapag nagtagal ay nagiging tila magkaibigan na lang ang mag-asawa. Ang Init ng pag-ibig gayun din ang pagnanasa sa isa't isa ay humuhupa sa paglaon ng panahon. Kaya naman marami sa mag-asawa ngayon ay nauuwi sa hiwalayan dahil sa tumatabang na pagmamahalan.

Hindi ko alam na totoo pala ang lahat ng iyon,akala ko noon ay hakahaka lamang nila o di kaya'y dahilan na lamang ng mga palikero at palikera. I didn't believe them, I really don't until....

"Mahal, kumain ka muna bago matulog. Ipinagluto kita ng paborito mo." 

Nakangiting wika ng bilugan kong asawa na si Tricia,walang ganang tumingin lamang ako sa kaniya.

"Hindi ako gutom." 

Wika ko rito habang hinuhubad ko ang coat ko, maagap naman niya itong inabot at isinabit.

"Pero mahal, hindi pa rin kasi ako kumakain, hinintay kasi kita." 

Wala sa loob na napatingin ako sa aking relo malapit na pa lang maghating gabi. Ang totoo ay kanina pa ako gutom, pero hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nawala ang gana ko ng Makita ko siya. Marahil ay naumay ako bigla dahil sa itsura niya.

"Bakit di ka pa kumain? Dala ko ba ang kaldero ha?" 

Pasinghal kong sabi sa kaniya. Bahagya siyang napaatras dahil sa inasal ko, pero wala akong pakialam, agad akong pumasok sa loob ng kwarto at nahiga sa kama.

It's been 10 years mula ng mapangasawa ko ang babaeng pinakamamahal ko. Ngayon ay may kambal na kaming anak na anim na taong gulang na. I don't know what happened to me this past few months. Madalas uminit ang ulo ko,lalo na kapag nasa bahay, marahil ay dahil sa dami ng trabaho.

Hindi ko alam pero madalas na hinahanap ko ang babaeng halos kabaliwan ko noong binata pa ako. That sexy body, that drives me crazy whenever she walks towards me. That tantalizing eyes that makes me forget my sanity. That kissable lips that I wanna kiss hungrily. Oh Damn! That was Tricia but now, she's not that woman anymore.

I don't know why I keep on comparing her to my beautiful colleagues, I don't want it but..but I can't help it! I'm the worst man ever alive! I know that! How can I do this to my wife? I even imagine different person whenever we're making love! I hate myself! I'm a great sinner and I don't want it, but I can't help it. Oh someone save me, please.

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TRICIA's POV

I don't know how or why did he change so much. He's not the man that I love before, he's so rough and he's always mad at me. Even though I'm trying my best to be a perfect wife. I can't even take care of myself anymore. I've been busy taking care of him and my sons! I've been busy taking care of our house.

I never asked him to help me because I know that he was also tired and that was the only way that I can help him. Since he's our provider and I don't wanna be a burden for him. But I don't understand, it seems like I'm becoming a heavy burden now. I can't see those eyes anymore, those caring eyes, those sweet smiles and I can't even feel his warm hugs. He's a different person now. 

Then One day...

"I want a divorce, Trish." 

Natigilan ako sa pagkain dahil sa sinabi niya, pakiramdam ko nagkamali lang ako ng dinig.