i need something.
i don't know what.
i live alone at the moment but, I'm happy, at least i think. there is something wrong with me, i can feel it, I'm not alone but lonely.
What is it that i need?, i feel empty, alone, worthless.
i have friends, do they even care about me? am i just another person, who was born to just be here? there is no point to be here, unless there is.
there is one think i need just one, but what is it?
_____
i put down my pen as i finished writing, i was currently having to deal with a mental break down, so i decided to write something, nothing to complicated.
i stand up and go to the kitchen for a glass of water, i pour some water on my glass accidentally missing the cup, i go grab a cloth to clean it, as i bend down i feel something grasp my leg, i jump from the sudden movement and look around, i see nothing, i decide to ignore it and go back to cleaning the water. I grab my cup and go to my room. i look at the mirror and see bags and marks under my eyes, i haven't been able to sleep for 5 days now, thanks to my anxiety and depression. I sit on my bed and light a cigaret, i slowly press the little tube on my mouth, the warm taste felt good on my mouth.
i lye on my bed.
thinking.
for hours.
i finish my forth cigaret placing it on my bedside table, i take a sip of my water that by this point it tasted disgusting, check the time on my phone and its already 12:00 am, i go to stand up but... i can't something, someone, i don't know, is pushing me back down, i move, i kick, i scream, nothing, I'm paralyzed.
