breakups two

two

the thoughts of
lola & jonathan

"but i love you."
those were the last words i muttered to you, before you disappeared into the abyss. gone forever.
i often contemplate on the reasons you left. you said it wasn't me. it wasn't my fault, it was just that me and you were drifting apart.
our drifting apart was true. our conversations were getting shorter, we started talking less, we were less intimate, we weren't the same. but i was still completely in love with you. i could still love you and never speak a word into your ears. so the drifting apart reason wasn't good enough for me.
but it was enough for you to end it all. we'd been dating sense freshman year.
i remember when your first approached me with your cocky smile and witted remarks. your statements towards my beauty was beyond corny. but i could see the spark in your eyes and could tell that you meant every single word.
and now that spark is gone and i am left with emptiness and confusion on why it ever dimmed.
- her thoughts

i miss you.
i stare at the typed words on my phone screen, ready to sent to yours. it's the truth. we did everything together and now...we can't.
it's my fault. it's my fault for losing interest after so long. but we're 17 and i really want a new experience. i was tired of being bond to a relationship. that was my problem anyway. it wasn't even an relationship for me if i thought of it as being bond. i am ashamed of my reasoning. i really am, because i know i bruised your heart...i might have even broken it. and i hate to be the bearer of any pain that i have caused.
but i really do miss you. your smile, your eyes, the way you talk, everything. but we were growing apart. i know it was because of me but fate was just pulling my heart elsewhere. i wish i wasn't so pressured to leave you alone. but, i need something more. and from where we've been i could tell i wasn't going to to get it with you.
i loved you. but, something was missing. and it's time i go find it.
- his thoughts