Chapter 1
My life
"Why? Why me of all people?"
Said wail taking another puff from her second cigarette.
The smoke fills my lungs. I know this brings me closer to death but, maybe that's the reason I'm doing this you have no right to judge me. I put out my cigarette and craw back inside my room through the window.
My parents don't know I smoke most people don't but you know whatever. people also don't know what I have or am currently going through.
My parents think I stopped three years ago. They're wrong. I haven't done anything as extreme as that "last" time. They know of my scares in my wrist. They are just oblivious idiots.
I wish I could go back to that one day and take just a few more pills or just a more variety of them maybe I would be dead and they wouldn't be so worried about me. I hate sympathy it fucking sucks just 'cause you feel bad for me doesn't mean it going to help. It may seem like a bad thing that I wanna be dead but it's not...... I swear. All the new ones are on my thighs they're easier to hide.
I don't know what to say I mean I'm such a screw up! My mom was killed then in grief my dad killed him self. That was just in a six month time span. So much pain, so little time.
I've been having to deal with depression since I was ten, yea petty young. I know. I remember the night I started cutting and it's always haunting me the thoughts running through my head, the first time watching the crimson blood run down my skin. It might seem like one of the more darker points in my life but they weren't. I feel as if that's was the happiest, the first time I felt true happiness, but it was in pain.
I'm a whore. I'm not trying to get down on my self but it's true. I'm not proud to admit it but that's just me stating the truth. I don't dress slutty thou. It's just the sex, the inner course it makes me feel as if some one loves me enough to do it. It feeds my addiction the hole I have inside that can't be filled. I've tried everything name a drug, i've tried, name a dude, i've fucked. Now don't you dare fucking look down at me like a little fucking idiot that's a fucking attention whore. I'm not! I'm just a baby girl lost and trying to find my way.
It's my first day at this new shit hole school I know someone, it's only cause I've been here before just a few weeks though nothing long. I guess I should get some sleep hell it's already three.
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A/N
Hey well I'm weighting this story as an express of my feelings Tara is me. I'm telling my life story through her. I'm sorry this is the first thing like this iv done EVER so if you have any tips just say.thanks ily
