Journal Of My Life With God

Liberated

21/5/2016

Liberated

I went to church as a child. It was there that I learnt about God and Jesus Christ. But I did not really understand. I did not have a relationship with Christ.

As I grew older, living a life from a worldly view, I drew further away from God. I no longer attended church. I went through great difficulties and challenges in life, especially during my university years and working life. I struggled through it, only calling upon God during times of desperation and despair.

One day, in May 2013, while sitting in front of a computer, suddenly, out of nowhere, I had a thought to search about God. Indeed, God is so loving and gracious to reach out to me, the child who left Him. I began to watch online sermons about God from that day. On 18th May 2013, I listened to the sermon entitled 'Why does God allow suffering?'. It was indeed very timely and a much needed Word from God. I was in tears throughout the sermon. God's Word really pierced my heart.

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 New King James Version (NKJV)

At the end of the sermon, when the pastor gave the salvation call, I stood there in front of the computer, in tears, accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour.

After I was born again, I had a great hunger for the Word of God. I bought a Bible and read it day and night, from beginning to end, until I completed it in 6 months. I read no other books. Previously, I read the worldly motivational self-help books. While reading through the Bible, I realised that I understood a lot of things that I did not previously. The Bible was a difficult read for me back then as a child. But as I read it through this time, God had revealed the meaning of His Word to me by His Holy Spirit. It became evident to me that as I read through His Word, God used all those experiences of difficulties and challenges in my life to help me understand His Word, and teach me.

During this period, I continued to face difficulties and challenges at an even greater degree. Not only did I have to battle against my own fleshly desires, I had to face spiritual warfare.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 New King James Version (NKJV)

However, bible verses on trials and tribulation kept me going.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. James 1:2-8 New King James Version (NKJV)

Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy. 1 Peter 4:12-13 New King James Version (NKJV)

But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. Job 23:10 New King James Version (NKJV)

My life's difficulties grew greater still, and I finally came to a point of wanting to give up. I was all alone, and I did not know what to do. But, God was faithful. Jesus was faithful, even though I was unfaithful. At that time, I realised that I was still living in sin. I was not even able to obey the first commandment.