Negative Correlation || Destiel A/U

Part 1 || New Beginnings

Couldn't catch a taxi the day you left me. Rush hour was beginning to bloom.

I had to take the subway. Took a seat on the bench where we'd met; two fallen angels, about to fall some more.

My goodness, you were: heaven; heavenly poison and my, oh my, you promised me seven eternities.

Please, please leave my heart; I fear it can take no more. Leave my heart, since you've removed yourself from my life.

So, I can still recall the way your hands trailed my veins. You touched my skin and it drove me insane.

So, I still remember how you held my hand, dragged me along in your stride. You were a quicksand and I forgot to run and hide.

So, when you kissed my cheeks and bruised my skin, I forgot about falling into dark pits like Alice had warned me, with a malicious grin on her innocent face.

So, when we finally part ways and I hug my sheets, I recall what she says: how confusing is someone's different beat, how clear is someone's advice; so clear, you don't understand until you forget to use it.

So, in the blood of last night's pain, I wrote a note to end the game: I heard hell is really nice, I wrote. My self destruction started long ago, I wrote. As blood dried on the wall and all hope took it's fall, I flung the knife at myself -and I stop.

I stop, and I remember.

There is an ever-burning fire by my house. It lives off scraps people have let fall down the drain. The fire never wavers, never stops. When rain pours, it takes a short break, before regaining life. It is a fighter, that fire.

I have a heart now. A soul. My grace. An ever-living heart and soul in my vessel. It breathes off scraps of love people let fall and forget to pick up. My heart works hard to keep breathing. When rain pours, my soul gets dampened, before roaring back to life.

And I might burn off old love, but at least I burn.

And maybe it's my fault.

Baby, it's my fault. 'Cause I knew you were condemned yet I still indulged myself in your devil's sin.

-Castiel Novak