Sometimes, I want to live inside the bubble of what people think of me. They always say I'm lucky because I have this; I have that because I am like this and I am like that. Maybe they're right, but a part of me knows very well, that inside me, an uncontrollable feeling always shows up. A little demon inside me eats me alive. Every fucking time.
I don't have any idea why I always feel like this. But most of the time, after a time of enjoyment and happiness, once I get home and goes to bed, or sometimes when I wake up in the morning, that little demon of mine always says hi and stay until I feel better if ever I got the chance to feel better. Have you ever felt the same? If not, lucky you and if yes, come on! Let me give you a hug. I know how you feel.
I am an OT person. Not overtime because it doesn't fit my sentence, but an over thinker. I care a lot for things that I tend to think of it all over again. I know it's none of my business anymore but I am always affected. Even the tiniest of things affects me. I always say that I don't care but deep inside me, I am shaken.
I am writing this because I don't have any other way to get rid of this feeling. I'm anxious. I'm scared. I'm scared of the thought that maybe one day,while I can't get a hold of my reality, it will consume me and that's the last thing I wish not to happen.
[DalawangDekada082816 9:47pm]
