Beautiful Tragic Love |√ |

"Ton, I hope you'll both do great as a married couple. I'm very happy for you two." Would I be called a swine if what I had just said was a lie? Truly, I am really happy that he is married to someone but it's just downright melancholic in my part that, that someone was not me.

To say this bluntly, the world took me upside-down and guess what, here in front of the reception hall, I'm speaking for a bride's maid's speech. I'm not even affiliated with the bride. 

"Ton, we knew each other since we were toddlers, went together always every first day of school, had checked our freaky bucket list, made crazy things and travel. But we can't do that anymore, because you're already a married man." 

I assured myself that I still look calm. Made myself pretend that I'm okay with what I'm saying. I'm hardly trying to keep my tears from falling because the fluid inside my eyes is so ponderous I can't bear anymore.

I looked at Ton and smiled. His eyes were olive green as ever, his face was made perfectly as I used to know, his dashing smile that can make me blush, his antics- his crazy antics-that used to make me feel better than I could feel. Those were just a few from every part of him that I will miss.

Does he still remember our joyous times? The time when I was sneaking out of my room in the middle of the night just to lay down with him on the roof just to see the stars? The time when we always think things right when it's all wrong? The time when we were so eager to go to a festive at the vineyard that only couples could go so we pretended that we were madly in love?That night on the cliff, when we let our hands touch, palm to palm, I felt something different-a spark- my heart beat fast more than from its normal rate. I knew there was something but maybe he didn't felt anything.

Did those occurrences still fresh in his mind or all of it was already forgotten and had been scratched out? He looked at me from amusement to concern and that I realized that I had stopped speaking for a while. I continued my speech and finished it with ersatz dashing smile from a lottery winner. If only he knew what I feel.

"Cling!" There it was, clings from champagne flutes as the crowd cheered and applaud. The whole room was full of felicity, maybe I am too, but not too much. No one did ever spoke to me after, because the spotlight was on the newly wedded couple. I know it was my cue to let all things go for a moment and breathe some fresh air, so I made an unsophisticated exit. From all of many places that everyone might think of just to breathe, I went for the rooftop to see the stars also. When I reached the top, that's when all of my tears fall. That was the time that i felt vulnerable and weak and tired.

"I wish you would come back, wish I told you what I felt that I never did. I wish you would come back and remember what we were fighting for, for all those years." I said to no one sobbing as I look into the stars.

"Why now after those years?" 

I flinched at the voice that I heard-it was him-I knew it was him because I will never forget that voice that made me go on cloud nine every time I hear it. I tried to look at him as I dried my tear-stained cheeks but it was no sense because it still blurred my vision.

"I never thought you would feel the same way to me so I didn't bother to let you know what I feel.", he look tired as he said that. "I miss you too much to be mad anymore." He continued and went near me until we're inches away.

I backed away slowly but he caught me off guard because he closed the distance between us, he put his arms around my waist. Though my world will be a wonderland if I had him it will made me sick to feel so guilty about this. He is already married and now he's with me, we must be downstairs with his wife. 

"Well, Ton, it's too late but I'll never forget you as long as I live." I took his hand on mine and put it on my chest, where his hot hand felt my ever beating heart. "You'll always be here. I love you..." I let him go and before I left him to go into the stairway, my last words was,

"...goodbye."