I Didn't Know He Would Become A Monster

Chapter 1 Time and Time Alone Can Tell

4:00am March 22nd 1996

“Push Anna push, he’s almost here you just need one more good one and...”. A piercing cry fills the room as the mother, who has just given birth to a healthy baby, pants and breathes heavily from the exhaustion and exertion the labor had caused her. The nurse takes the baby away to wash and wrap it in the warm blanket. As she walks over to give the baby to the waiting mother, she smiles happily at the newborn child. “Aw, you have a beautiful, and healthy baby boy.“ She hands her the baby and she starts to cry.

I held his baby hands in my palm, so soft and smooth. As I stare at him I begin to cry, he is a bundle of joy. “You’re going to be my angel, my life.“ A nurse came over and started to check how I was doing. “ So have you thought of a name for him?“ 

“Yes, Tristan.”

“What a nice name. Now we will be taking him, so the both of you can rest and you both will see each other tomorrow.”

“Okay”. I didn’t understand why they had to take him away from me so soon. I just had him and now they’re taking him. As the nurse prepares the room and finalizes details, I stare at my precious son. He’s sleeping and he looks so at peace.

As the second day arrives, I see my son and he’s fully awake now making gurgling noises. He seems calm and the nurses gush about how adorable he looks. When the nurse brings him to me first thing in the morning, she tells me how adorable he is. I couldn’t agree more.

“His eyes are so lovely, such a bright blue.” As she hands him to me I see his eyes for the first time as he stares at me with his mouth gaping open. His eyes so blue, made my heart twinge, for they were the exact eyes as his fathers. The father he’ll never know, the father that abandoned him, that abandoned me. The one who left me when I needed him the most. My baby’s eyes being the very same eyes of the man I despised the most in my life right now. So I shut my eyes to avoid looking at them.

I guess the nurse thought me to be tired, so she took him. I was left to my thoughts of the man that entered my life, sent my world crumbling and tore my heart apart.

Jessie Connelly, 23 years old was a tall, lean man with slick black hair. His eyes of course were these bright blues that melted my heart. We met in the library where I was studying to become a Marketing/Pr, he was studying to become a paralegal. He kept bugging me while I was trying to do my work, sending paper airplanes with love notes written on them when you unfolded it. I kept avoiding him because I didn't want to be distracted from my line of work. I was 21; I worked my way from the bottom to the top basically only relying on myself when my parents kicked me out for not wanting to pursue there dreams of me becoming a part of the military. My father was a Navy Seal and my mother a Marine, however, that lifestyle didn't suit me, and they disowned me for not choosing something they wanted me to do. I moved in with a close friend of mine and I carried three jobs to pay my way through school. I managed to get a couple scholarships to also help. My career path was slowly becoming my reality. I didn't intend to fall in love.

When I finally agreed to go on a date with him he took me everywhere and anywhere. When we were at school, we would spend the majority of time studying and talking ‘till the library closed. He was an enlightened soul that fueled me to move for bigger and better things. We were having a good time and the next thing I knew we were dating. He never asked me out we just knew that we wanted to be together. After eight months of being together, we had unprotected sex. A few weeks later, we discovered I was pregnant.

At first we both thought of abortion. We knew with our career paths and the lack of time we had, there was no way we were going to be able to raise a child. Then we realized we couldn't kill our child, it was ours. So then we turned to an open adoption, but finding a family was the difficult part. Not many families wanted an open relationship and other families we didn't feel safe giving our baby to. As time continued to pass I realized the baby I was carrying was mine and I didn't want to give my baby up to anyone. We decided to keep it and try our best to dedicate ourselves to it. We got ourselves a small apartment and started living together.