The Complexity Within

One Or Both

                One Or Both?
Have you ever been in love? I mean heart stopping, goosebump ridden love. I met this beautiful girl one day in my sociology class at the University we were attending. She came in and sat beside me claiming that all the other seats were taken, even though the classroom was completely empty since we were the first two people to show up for class. As we waited for class to start we started talking about little things, like our majors and minors, our dorm rooms and our roommates. I liked this girl. She was funny and feisty. I thought it would be cool to impress this girl so I told her a corny joke that had to be laughed at because it was so ridiculously stupid.That was it for me. My heart completely froze, my eyes widened and I gasped.
It all started with her smile. It was cute. Her perfect white teeth biting her lower lip as she tried to keep in her chuckle but failed. Her pink upper lip tiled just enough for the smile to turn crooked. I looked up into her blue eyes and all of a sudden my frozen heart thawed then slammed back into gear in my chest, it’s cadence out of rhythm due to it’s fast paced thumping. I had this odd feeling, a feeling of wonderment, and admiration as I looked at her. In that moment I knew that this girl was the one. I was officially in love.
We talked for weeks, messing around, hanging out. We were friends, and I couldn’t be any happier. It wasn’t until the next semester, we were hanging out in her dorm room when she looked at me and asked, “So are you ever going to ask me out?” I looked over to her, the shock clearly written all over my face.
    I cleared my throat before claiming her eyes when I asked, “Would you like to go out with me?” It was there I got another one of those perfect smiles. I vowed that day as I gazed at the happiness she showed me, that I would live day by day to make that smile appear on her face. She said yes to my offer and the next night we were on our date. It was simple but memorable, we went to a little diner off campus, and talked for hours about the littlest of things. We ate burgers and fries, and shared a milkshake. Our conversation never died, there was always a comment to make or a joke to crack. After dinner we went to a romance movie she had been dying to see. After the movie was over I walked her back to her dorm room, with my big, warm hand in her small one warming it up from the slight chill of the fall night. We got to her door and right before I could lean in and kiss her, she stuck out her hand, offering me a handshake. She laughed at the puzzled look on my face and explained she wanted to make me wait. She said the want for each other would build up over time and when the time came for us to have our first kiss, it would be so passionate that our knees would weaken and our hearts would swell.
It would be another two weeks before we had that kiss. The leaves would be frozen on the ground and the sky would be dark and cold as winter creeped its way in to replace the light of fall. We would be in her dorm room wrestling over the remote as we fought over the next movie to watch. She would be on top of me, pinning my arms down. She slowly leaned down, her long brown hair creating a curtain around us as she bit her lip and moved her lips closer to me. Letting her lip go her plump pink lips lightly brushed over mine. She pulled back and smiled at me before she leaned down again and kissed me for the second time. It wasn’t a sloppy kiss that was fast paced and messy like the kisses we see in the movies. But it was passionate and beautiful in it’s own way. She was right about waiting , it was amazing like heart stoppingly  amazing, it made my heart leapt from inside my chest, I was sure she could see the frantic beating of if from the outside. My ears tuned out the movie that began playing, all I could hear was the boom, boom, boom of my heart. I pulled away and looked up at her. I was amazed by the person she was. She was a beautiful girl, not like those that we see in the magazines that have the perfectly skinny bodies and shallow personalities. She was beautiful, the way she smiled at me, the way she gets excited over the littlest things, the way her eyes gleam with happiness and shine with love.
    We dated all through college. Our junior and senior year we moved out of the dorms and into an apartment off campus. It was amazing living together, at night I was able to have her in my arms as we fell asleep together. In the mornings the first thing I woke up to was a kiss and one of her gorgeous smiles. I knew from the first morning we woke up together, her laying on my chest, with my arms wrapped around her, that I never want to wake up without her wrapped up in my arms. This girl was going to be my wife. It wasn’t until graduation, it was a spring day, the air fresh and warm, the sun was out and shining brighter than it had been any other day this week. The birds were chirping in the background as we listened to the announcer call out our names. Her name was called first, I watched as she climbs the stage and walked to each of the professors there before she was handed her diploma. She smiled at the lady handing out the diplomas before she walked back to her seat. It was my row’s turn so we stood up and made our way to the stage. When my name was called I walked up the stairs and onto the stage. I made my way through the handshakes and the “congratulations” before I was handed my diploma. As soon as it was in my hand, I turned and faced the crowd, I searched row after row until I found her. Our eyes connected, and I dropped to one knee taking the velvet box from my pocket. I brought it around in front of me and flicked open the lid. With our eyes locked I yelled loud enough for everyone there to hear, ” Freshman year, the classroom was completely empty yet you decided to sit next to me. I thought you were beautiful. A little feisty and headstrong but beautiful none the less. You had completely mesmerized me and I knew instantly that I was in love with you. You are a complete control freak. Telling me when I can or can’t kiss you, when I should have asked you out. Well now I am taking charge. My feisty, beautiful woman...will you give me the honour of being my wife?”
    She gasped, she continued to look at me her hands covering her mouth. I could just make out the glistening of the tears as they shined in the spring sun. With her eyes locked on mine, she lowered her hands and yelled the one word that changed my life forever.
    We were married a year later in the same church as my parents. It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was high in the sky and shining just as bright as it had the day I proposed. The birds chirped as they flew across the cloudless, light blue sky. I held my wife's hand, her hand cold from the ring she had on her fourth finger. We walked into the reception where our friends and family screamed and cheered in celebration. This was just one of the best days of my life. I had the woman of my dreams and now we were ready to celebrate. We danced and partied until the wee hours of the morning. Our brakes consisted of family member congratulating us, and glasses being clinked together signaling for us to kiss again. When we finally made it home that night, we went straight in and went right to sleep. Our alarm clock beeped only hours later forcing us up to get ready to catch out flight. We honeymooned in Greece, staying on a boat I rented for two weeks.
    After our honeymoon we came back and moved into a small three bedroom, two bathroom starter home. We were happy and in love. The routine we picked up so naturally in college fell back into place so quick it  impressed even me. In the morning I would get up and shower, while I showered she would make me breakfast, we would eat together before I gave her a kiss and headed off to my teaching position at the local high school a couple blocks away. She would stay home and work on the latest book she was writing. We were married for about three years, we desperately wanted to expand our family. We would see babies in the grocery store, and kids running and laughing at the park. We tried frequently to get pregnant but the fish never took the bait. We sort of lost momentum after the fourth negative pregnancy test. We figured if it was meant to be then it would happen on it’s own time.
    Approximately eight months and ten days ago I came home to my wife cooking dinner. She was in a brighter mood then she normally was, I just thought it was something to do with the book she was writing. I placed my things by the front door then headed into the kitchen. I wrapped my arms round her and kissed her neck. She leaned into me as I asked her how her day was.