THE MOST AWSOMEST STORY OF ALL TIME
“YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY! I can’t wait to get to Super Happy Fluffy Fun Park!” Sage cried from the back of the van. The white van rolled down the main street of the small town of Wolfsburg, Pennsylvania. Inside the van, there was a driver, passenger, four children to each seat made for three, and two girls in the very back. Sage and a girl named Terra were the two that were unlucky enough to be shoved in the back.
The driver was the man that brought all of these children into the world; his name was Billy. The passenger was the woman who brought all of these wonderful children into the world; her name was Sara. In the next row of seats, there were four boys all in the age range of 5-14; their names were Harry, Barry. Kyle, and Miles. The second row considered of all girls, in the age range of 8-16; their names were Winfred, Gretel, Derry, and Georgia. The third row had both boys and girls, from the ages of 2-11; their names were Freddy, Ranger, Kyli, and Samsung. Then there were the two girls in the back who were 12.
“OHHHHHHHHHHHH, loooooook!” Terra pointed out the window, toward an old abandoned school.
“We should stop and get souvenirs!” Sage added.
“Yeah!” Terra looked at their father pleadingly.
“No.” He said sternly.
“Please please please please please please please please…” Both girls chanted until their father gave in.
“FINE!” He pulled to the side of the road.
Terra and Sage climbed out of the van. They both turned to get a souvenir and Billy drove away. They saw him driving away and started chasing him. They lost him not long after.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Terra and Sage were standing at the edge of a thick wood. Why go around when you can go through? They stepped into the woods, trying to find the highway on the other side.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
“Ohhhhhh, a squirrel!” Sage cried when she saw said animal perched on a tree branch.
The squirrel snarled a deadly snarl and jumped on Sage’s face.
Meanwhile, Terra was investigating a nearby hole. Out popped a groundhog and it attacked her.
Hearing the commotion, other small forest animals came out of hiding and started attacking the girls, also.
Flying overhead, three giant Bald Eagles heard the girls’ horrific screams. They swooped down out of the air to save the two children.
The Bald Eagles fought off many small critters, until only Sage’s squirrel was left. The squirrel leaped at a nearby eagle and attacked it. The eagle bit open the squirrel’s chest and pulled out its heart in its beak. It crushed the tiny organ. The bird though, had lost too much blood and fell over, joining the squirrel in the afterlife.
The reaming two Bald Eagles grabbed the two girls (who were very close to joining the Bald Eagle and the squirrel) and flew away.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Three days had passed since the family had abandoned poor little Terra and Sage when they heard a loud thump! on the roof. Billy went to investigate.
What he saw shocked him. There was Terra and Sage almost dead lying on his roof and two giant Bald Eagles flying into the sunset.
He grabbed the phone and called an ambulance.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Sage was waiting for breakfast. A year had past since her encounter with the squirrel, but she couldn’t move her arms or legs. Terra couldn’t move anything under her shoulders. A busy nurse came in and placed a tray with food on it on a bedside table.
Sage glared at the food.
A cracker magically floated into her mouth.
What the-?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Terra had also learned of her own telekinetic powers when the nurses refused to empty her bedpan on a fateful afternoon. She didn’t like sitting in her own waste.
All of the sudden, she felt her body being lifted, like a nurse had finally came to change the bedpan, but there were no nurses. The bedpan floated out from under her and emptied itself. The bedpan floated back and placed itself under Terra.
Terra dropped into a clean bedpan.
Awesome!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The girls soon learned that the other also had telekinetic abilities. They decided to break out of the hospital.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Terra and Sage floated down the sidewalk, finally free of the prison called a hospital. They decided to break into a nearby CVS Pharmacy.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The cops had come minutes after Terra and Sage had broken into the Pharmacy. They pulled out their batons and beat the girls senseless.
Then one looked up and said, “Wait a minute, this isn’t Arby’s!”
The cops all looked around, realizing they were in CVS Pharmacy instead of Arby’s. They raced out the door, leaving the two girls to drown in their own blood.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Luckily, the girls didn’t drown in their own blood. Stacy, a pharmacist that worked at CVS found them and called the hospital before they could die.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The girls found themselves in a hospital again. Well, time to break out again…
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
This time, the girls decided to break into Arby’s. Minutes after they arrived, the cops swarmed the building. The cops beat Terra and Sage senseless, until they realized they were not in CVS Pharmacy and ran out, leaving the girls to die yet again.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Gabrielle, a nurse at the hospital was the 7th to notice that the girls in room 312 were not normal. She told her boss, and soon Sage and Terra were being moved to a mental institution.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Of course Terra and Sage would breakout again they managed to figure out a way out of the institution through the air ducts.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
They were free again. This time they weren’t stupid and they fled to the woods. One day they saw a huge white bear.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh, a bear!” Sage cried. She floated away.
Terra looked at the bear, and then gave it the ability of telekinesis. The bear and Terra floated off to find Sage.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
They found Sage cowering behind a tiny maple tree.
“Sage, meet Fluffy!” Terra said, happily.
“YAAAAAAYYYY!” Sage cried.
The four flew up into the air and off into the sunset.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
This story is 98% fiction. There is no Super Happy Fluffy Fun Park, nor a Wolfsburg Pennsylvania (to our knowledge) but Arby's and CVS Pharmacy are real.
The End.
YOU ARE READING
THE MOST AWSOMEST STORY OF ALL TIME
HumorTwo girls’ adventures. (Includes a happy bear named “Fluffy”) WARNING: Makes absolutely no sense. Cover is irrelevant.