100% Coco, the diary of a fashion blogger

Chapter one, junior high

Don't be boring!
- Diana Vreeland

If you are reading my diary, i'm probably already eighty years old and living in a house with ninety walk-in closets with a lovely view on the Seine in paris. A book like this usually becomes public once you're very old or even already dead. My book could also be presented at the 200 year anniversary of vogue, of which i naturally have been the C.E.O. For all i know i dropped dead on the front row of a Prada show in milano last month and am now making headlines because of it. Legions of important people in the fashion industry are strolling around my house, designers are grieving by my casket, the entire world is fighting for my inheritance (read: 75 Chanel jackets) and all my clothes are being displayed for a year in my favorite museum, les arts décoratifs in paris. The heirs of Marc Jacobs and Karl Lagerfeld are brawling for a ticket. RTL boulevard (A.N dutch news/gossip show) will spend an entire episode on my life. In which they show how i started my own fashion blog and slowly grew into the new Kate Moss. But first i need to decide what to wear tomorrow. Because tomorrow is my first day in junior high!

"Lips pouted and breasts outed" is what Marijke Helwegen (A.N dutch plastic surgery queen) would say. That's right. Nothing is sure on your first day of junior high except that you're wearing clothes.
Sunday August 25th
19.00 p.m my room
Don't be boring! -Diana Vreeland. Diana vreeland was a fashion icon and president of the british vogue in the sixties. I wish i had Diana's life. She was born in paris and later moved to London and new york. I've watched the eye has to travel about her life over eighty times. So my back to school outfit is going to be anything but boring. In the documentary you see a pair of eyes with two different shades of eyeshadow. Green left and pink on the right, the perfect eyes for my first day of school. But what should i wear?
velvet purple harem pants, Leopard print all-stars, denim blouse, diy hair ribbon ( Maison Michel lookalike made of black lace and white pearls)
Or:
Yellow cocktail dress (bought at the Waterlooplein), oversized leopard print vest, turquoise fake Ray-ban, which Shoes though???
Or:
Diy Chanel vest (black vest from the Hema (A.N dutch retail store) with green rhinestones i bought at the craft store and buttons from my dad's pyjama jacket) salmon coloured ballet skirt, my dad's blue sports socks, faux pearl necklace and Mary-jane's

20.30 p.m my bed
Arggghhhhh! Don't let it be tomorrow. Don't let it be tomorrow. Don't let it be tomorrow. Please let me wake up on a Mexicaan beach. with a coconut in my hand. And a plate of tortilla chips and guac. In a tie dye bikini. And a flower crown in my hair.
21.10 p.m
What the hell am i going to do tomorrow when i walk into the school? I don't know anyone. On friday i talked to a girl when i went and picked up my books, but she's in a different grade. I don't know who's in my grade. Should i just walk up to someone? Or should just stand somewhere on my own?
21.20 p.m
The other people in my class already know eachother. Before summer break there was an afternoon where they could meet eachother, but i didn't go. On that they i had a party with my old class. And i absolutely didn't want to miss that. Stupid stupid stupid. Now everyone has made friends and i will stay on my own for the rest of this year.
21.40 p.m
I will at least go to the bathroom a lot. That way i have something to do.
21.55 p.m
My dad just sent me a text from London to wish me good luck for tomorrow. That's really sweet. This morning we already skyped for 45 minutes. I walked around my room pretending it was the school's hallway. My dad just kept screaming applause. He told me that i am the best junior in the known universe and that i'm great at walking around the hallways. But he's my dad, he's supposed to say that.
My dad met my mom twenty years ago in snackbar 't snorretje in Amsterdam. Usually my dad got scared by the thought of commitment but thank goodness he fell hard for my mother. They had their first Kiss next to the pinball machine in the snackbar. Someone took a picture of it, how embarrasing is that? That night there was a party in the Westergasfabriek and my mom dressed up as a playboy bunny complete with stockings, pink hot pants and fake fur for a tail. Because of all that dancing my mom and here friends were hungry so they decided to get some junkfood. Because my mom was dressed up as a bunny she could play a game of pinball too. Don't ask me why but after only two games they were already making out. My mom didn't really like it though but she just played it cool and continued playing pinball like nothing happened. Within ten games the lucky bunny completely rekt them. Afterwards she ordered a bread roll with kaassoufflé (A.N kaassoufflé is a dutch fried snack with cheese covered in Bread crumbs (kinda like a mozarella stick)) and started flirting with the chef and giggling like a school girl about the house parrot Coco who kept saying " kroketje kroketje" (A.N kroket is a dutch fried snack with meat covered in breadcrumbs (idk how describe it just look it up)) my dad apparantly thought that was very attractive, that giggling. After that day he couldn't stop thinking about bunnies and started following my mom around like a Total yandere. A year later she was done with her law school. She got wasted at her own graduation party in a kareoke bar. My dad wasn't invited but he still decided to go. At 2.30 a.m he walked into the bar with a giant black bunny plushie and a Bread roll with kaassoufflé as a gift. At that exact moment my mom was singing who do you think you are by the Spice girls (a girl band from the nineties with platform shoes, lots of hairspray and Victoria Beckham) when my mom saw the bunny she was so happy that she kissed him in the middle of the bar. Her boyfriend from back then didn't think that was a good idea and broke up with her. At around 5 a.m my mom was basically crawling out of the bar. She was wearing high heels and it had been snowing alot. Biking wasn't an option and walking went very slowly. So my dad came to the rescue and threw her over his shoulder and Carried her home. In front of her dorm my dad proposed to her and she said yes. Then they started making out again. The next morning my mom's ex knocked on her door. After two cups of coffee and a can of pringles they got back together. Poor dad. four years later my dad went dressed up as bob the builder to a party. afterwards he tought it was a good idea to pee against the palace on the dam together with garfield, gladstone gander and bart simpson. there was a picture taken of the occasion and the next day it was on the front page of the telegraaf. my mom just happened to be at the hair salon that morning and read that exact news paper. and then it happened. my mom tought he was the hottest bob the builder in the world. she immediatly tracked him down and offered to defend him. my dad was on trial for peeing in public, disturbing the peace and offending the royal crown or something like that. his case didn't stand a chance and she knew that too. but six years after that first make out session next to the pinball machine they were back in that same snackbar. the parrot was still saying "kroketje kroketje". dad ordered two bread rolls with kaassoufleé and a chocalate milkshake with two straws. they played lots of pinball. this time my dad kissed amazing and nine months later i was born. they called me coco, after the parrot in snackbar 't snorretje.
22.15 p.m
i sent my dad a text. i just said i was excited for my first day, or else he'll worry too much.
22.25 p.m
i'm way to awake to sleep. my stomach is filled with nerves. relax,relax,relax. i still don't know what to wear tomorrow!
22.35 p.m
oh yeah, that about my parents may sound romantic but my parents separated when i was six years old. my dad makes toilet seats- i'm not even remotely joking-for rich people, for in yachts and hotels. some are made of wood and some are even made of GOLD. he lives in england now but he's usually travelling around the world to places like hongkong, Dubai, Saint-Tropez,Miami and god knows where to deliver them. my mom got sick of that do they filed for divorce. so now i just talk to my dad through Facetime and skype. i would rather have a dad who i see each day while brushing my teeth. but nobody asked me anything. it's already way too late for that.

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A.N hoi hoi guys, it's orchid here how do you like this story so far. this took me like 3 hours to write so please vote and share if you liked it. please correct me if you see any grammar or spelling errors so i can fix it. if you want a shoutout type kroketje kroketje in the chat and i'll choose one of you for the next part.
update in about 1 or 2 days ✨
shoutout to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets.