Unsaid (Niall Fanfiction)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

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  “So tell me Niall, how’s college? “ The dinner has been served and the food is delicious. Actually, it’s not being as awkward as I thought it would be. Niall and I are sitting in opposite sides of the table, front to front, but our eyes haven’t crossed yet, and I’m thankful for that. Mrs. Williams has been bombarding us with questions during the whole dinner, about the classes, college, life in Cambridge, new friends, everything a regular mom would do after not seeing her kids for 3 months.

 “It’s great. I have this teacher, he’s totally crazy. He’s all philosophic and that, and he spends half of the lecture talking about life and heart-breaks. I always sit in the back so I can laugh at him. “He admits and everyone laughs. Except me.

 We finish the meal and Harry, Grace and her mom get up and clean the meal. I’m supposed to put the garbage in the dumpster outside. As soon as I walk out the door, I notice I’m being followed: it’s Niall.

  “Phoebe.” I hear his angelic voice behind me. “Please talk to me.” I keep walking, I can’t let this happen. I know that, being hopelessly in love with him, I would fall onto his arms and believe everything that comes from his mouth. Not again.

 “Please.” He insists, but I can feel he’s now walking faster. He grabs my wrist and turns me, leaving our bodies dangerously close to each other.

 “No. Go away, please.” I take two deep breaths and turn around again. I realize I’m already close enough to throw the garbage and I do it. I then turn and start to make my short way to the front door. I’m interrupted by Niall’s silhouette passing by me and standing at my front.

 “I’m not letting you pass until you hear what I have to say.”

 “Go on.” I don’t dare to look at his eyes. I’m looking at the side, arms crossed and biting my tongue.

 “I want you to know that I’m really sorry about your parents.” Ouch. “But it wasn’t all my fault. I didn’t know he was selling that stuff to your mom. I… I wouldn’t sell anything to them. Ever.” How is it possible that he can make me cry in less than one minute?

 “Is that all?”

“No. I…Hum… “ I don’t have patience for this.

“Niall, go on.” I haven’t said his name out loud for so long, it just seems unreal. I have been thinking about him every second of this last months, I didn’t even notice I was avoiding to say his name.

“Since that night, when you stopped talking to me... I’ve been thinking about you since that night. And Phoebe, I know you still love me. We belong. Don’t make me say these things anymore, I need… “ 

  By this time I’m forcing myself not to kiss him, to finally kiss him. I can’t give in so easily. It’s not even a love issue, that’s the problem about it. It’s not a proud fight, we’re not simply being selfish to admit we did something bad. I wish that was the problem though, it would be solved so much quickly. This was something that I would inevitably drag during the rest of my life. He says it’s not his fault. I know it wasn’t him who sold them that stuff, but he knew about it. He knew.

NIALL’s POV

“You need what?” Her annoyance was visible through her voice. Her eyes were revealing something different though. She was sad. Even in the dark, I was able to see her teary eyes and how she was hopelessly trying to keep the tears to herself.

“I need you.” I stop to prepare myself for what I was about to say. “I know you, and don’t even bitch around saying I don’t know the real you, because that’s bullshit. You’re sad, you miss them, and I can’t let you go through this all by yourself. “

“Well guess what, you already did. I went through my both parent’s death alone. You didn’t even asked if I was okay”. She nearly screams at me. “And you fucking knew it! You knew that guy was selling drugs to my mom. And you couldn’t even tell me! They died and I could’ve avoid it!”

   How could she blame me? I swear if she was a guy, she would be on the ground right now. Was she kidding me? Does she really think I wouldn’t tell her if I knew it?

  “Just shut up! You know nothing of how it works. I didn’t know he was selling that to your mother, if did, I would never let him.” I finally tell her.

She’s in tears at this moment, and I’m so close to cry as well. I couldn’t help to feel a bit guilty for all this. I mean, I know the guy. Louis sold that stuff to him so he could sell it. He’s a total gorilla, but I still can’t believe he killed them. And I can’t believe Phoebe hasn’t report that to the police.  

“You’re the most important person to me. I can barely live without you near me, do you really think I would do that to you? Risk your parent’s life?” I continue to talk. She seems emotionless as she hears all I have to say, but somehow when I told her she’s the most important person to me, she showed something. Some emotion.

  She’s so different from what she was three months ago. It intrigues me how can I still love her with all my heart since she’s the total opposite from what she was before. It hurts me the thought of her going through all this alone, the thought of what she felt that made her think she had to be like this. I guess she’s stronger than what everyone used to think. But she’s still my Phebs. And I still can’t see her suffering like this.

  “I’m sorry.” I finally hear something coming out of her mouth.