Never Let You Fall (Previous title, Dance in the Rain)

~ Chapter 4 ~ Joel ~

A/N Edited version, Aug 6, 2017

*****

WAKING UP WITH ALEX IN my arms made this morning an entirely different experience than yesterday. I planted a kiss on her shoulder, her neck, and then traveled to her lips. Her sleepy blue eyes opened, and after a moment of confusion, they cleared and the most wonderful smile teased those luscious lips.

"Morning, beautiful," I murmured, dropping more kisses across her face.

"Joel," she whispered, her voice warm, but still fuzzy with sleep.

"Who were you expecting?" I hated the jealousy that streaked through me.

"No one?" She frowned. "It's your name. What are you implying?"

"Nothing, never mind. You sounded surprised to see me." I pushed the feelings aside and brushed her hair back from her face. Cupping her cheek in the palm of my hand, I stroked her soft skin with my thumb. "I'm happy you're here. I've missed you, baby." Sleeping in this massive king sized bed alone had been horrible, and the thought that Alex may leave me forever preyed on my mind.

Her deep blue eyes studied my face, and her fingers glided across my shoulder before she twined them through my hair.

It seemed forever since we'd been so close and intimate. Capturing her lips, I proceeded to make love to her all over again. I lost myself in her soft scent, her warm skin, and the way she wrapped herself around me.

❀ ❀ ❀

Flopping back onto my pillow, I dragged in a long breath to calm my breathing. If only we could stay in bed all day.

Or could we? Aiden and Emily were aware of our marital issues, so maybe they'd agree to keep our boy for another day. This would take some effort to coerce Alex into making the request on our behalf. Aiden might not answer if I phoned or texted, but he'd never ignore Alex.

Last night when Alex had said, 'you wonder why he's not your biggest fan?' the universal truth struck me head on and threatened to cut me off at the knees. I'd endured the gut-wrenching knowledge I'd alienated—and almost ended the life of—someone who'd been like a brother to me for over fifteen years.

On the outside, I denied the emotions and guilt eating me alive. Inside, the shame prevented me from looking Aiden in the eye. That short interaction at the diner had taken superhuman effort on my part. Even answering the simplest questions about my wife and my fidelity seemed a hardship.

I'd plummeted in his esteem, and that fact was difficult to digest, much less accept. I owed him more than I could ever repay, yet still, my thoughts nurtured an overflowing pool of resentment.

"What are you thinking about?" Her soft voice drew me from my musings.

"Ahh, where to start?" I turned my head toward her. "I can't even tell you how much I love and miss you and Daniel." This next part would be harder. "I wish we could have the day, just you and me. We need time to figure things out. Do you think they'd keep Daniel for the day?"

"I'm sure they would." Her brows rose. "Why don't you ask?"

The challenge in her eyes told me she'd accept nothing less than me down on my knees, begging for forgiveness. The requisite groveling would make me feel me like an unfortunate bug meeting a windshield. There'd be a few remains left to scrape up, but not much else. "Maybe you could?" I nuzzled against her neck, hoping to soften her up.

She pulled back. "Joel." Cupping my cheeks, she gazed deep into my eyes. "You can't avoid Aiden forever. What are you planning to do? Summer will end, and we'll be in Boston. Then the three of you will open the doors of Hamilton, Grayson & Nichols." She never missed an opportunity to drive her point home.