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Another night sitting down in the living room, worrying about what Shawn could possibly be doing.
Shawn has been going out a lot with his friends to get drunk and come home at 4 in the morning.
I sigh and sit back on our couch. I decided to watch TV until he got home. Shawn takes forever to get home and when he does it's always at an ungodly hour.
I felt a thousand butterflies swarming in my stomach. Even though I wait for Shawn to come home every night that he goes out, I couldn't help but be nervous since I knew tonight was gonna be different.
About a half hour passed until a drunk Shawn finally came stumbling into the house.
I go and hold onto his arm so he doesn't fall over. I lead him to the couch and sit him down.
"Shawn, we need to talk..." I said sitting next to him. His already glazed over yes became even more watery as his thoughts began to swarm at those words. To anyone, those four words usually didn't mean well.
"I think we should break up." I said, looking away from him.
"What?" He asked in disbelief, coming closer to me. He put his hand on my shoulder but I brushed him off, afraid I might give in and and take everything back.
"We need to break up Shawn. It's not gonna work between us. You come home too late every night. I don't want that Shawn, it's not healthy for either of us. I want to be sleeping at 4 in the morning not sitting up waiting for you to come home!" I said getting frustrated and emotional at the same time.
He never said anything, he only started to cry. It hurt me to see him like this, but I knew I couldn't back down. I need to let him go, I'll be better off without him. I just... I need to be by myself for a while. And Shawn needs to move on.
"I'm so sorry Shawn." I say kissing his forehead while holding back tears. I get up and go to our bedroom to pack my bags.
As I packed my bags I finally let myself cry. It hurt me to leave Shawn by himself. He's used to me being here with him. But part of the reason I'm leaving is because he depends too much on me, so much it's not healthy. I still love him, but this will be good for both of us.
I have all my important things packed in my bags. I wipe my eyes dry then walk down stairs and see a teary-eyed Shawn.
"Are you serious about this y/n?" He asked, more tears streaming down his face. I bit my lip and held in my tears. Oh god, it hurts so much to see him like this. I feel like walking up to him and kissing all his tears away, but I'm serious about this.
"I'm sure." I said, trying not to look at him. "Goodbye Shawn." I whispered as I shut the front door.
I put my bags in my Jeep and sat up front and wondered, is this was really what I wanted, what I needed? Then when I remembered staying up until I could see the sun almost everyday because I was caring after Shawn's hangover, I realized that even though I love him and love looking after him, I don't love almost passing out from sleep deprivation everyday. Even though it hurt to leave, I knew that this was the best option for the both of us.
I blinked my tears away, turned on the ignition and put my seat belt on. I pulled out of the drive way, not looking back at the person I love the most, and will probably still be loving even after we start acting like strangers again. I hope this is only a goodbye for now.
or forever...
OKAY I SUCK BUT I CANT HELP IT. GO READ MY SHAWN FANFICTION FORGOTTEN.
SO HAPPY TO SHOW YOU WHAT I HAVE PLANNED AND ALSO REQUEST ARE OPEN FOR ANYONE WHO WANTS A IMAGINE
~ Paige
