Crying and Begging [LEE HI X BTS]

PROLOGUE

                That door, it is painted with the "End" word in front of it, and I am ready to open the door. To see an end is scary, but I have to deal with it. I cannot count anymore how many cries and begs. From the start I never wanted it all to happen. The three of us can't stop. The time we spent becomes quite hard once we decide to be adults. That responsibility continues to attack us. Any regret and doubt are the ones that draw us from living.

I love my mother, but she left me first before I could save her. I love Jungkook and Jimin, but it all happened when I was careless. I guess time will fix everything for us, but it's actually not. Indeed, the time slowly built up the distance between us. I thought that I can last much longer from my struggle in this city. The pressure from the campus, the cost of living which I should bear because father had to pay for my sister's, and I have to maintain my grades so that the scholarship won't stop.

I got through all of that. However it turns out, my friend underwent bad things. I'm too ignorant to my surroundings. It's like my mother's sickness that I never realized before. She was hiding it from us that time. The smooth road, it doesn't exist.

Now, why would I look back to the past? I have to move forward. I can still do a lot of things tomorrow, but I can't do anything from yesterday. The future is my only hope. I don't need to mourn over it again.

I should open the door.

"Hayi, come on in." I'm happy to have the chance to see that smile.

To be honest, I was afraid to come. Two months have passed since the day it happened. Sungkyung finally did something more than I thought. She apologized to me and Jimin. First, we were confused about the reason. However, the next day, the big news went out in all media. Sungkyung revealed the truth. I'm very surprised. I'm sure it was very hard for her. I tried to meet her. Sungkyung smiles at me when we meet. She tells me this, "At least, this is what I can do to repay his kindness."

Jungkook's name is gone from all the bad talk of public. Only with a statement from Sungkyung, the public give ssympathetic and support for Jungkook. At that moment, Bangtan Boys' name didn't get destroyed. So many people were involved in this case, and I never thought it would be this complicated. The world is so awful, but I never guess it would be that cruel. However, there are things to be grateful for, that one day the truth will be revealed.

And now, I am shaking to walk closer. The room that I visit every day, now feels different. Jimin invites me in while moving his hands. I knew before that I ran so fast to this place. When I arrive, my legs are getting heavy. But, at there, the person I miss, the person I always wait every day, is leaning his body. His eyes are looking at me.

"Hi, Hayi." The voice is calling me so gently.

I proceed my way to approach him. I should have stopped crying, but I cannot stop the joy. He opens his arms to me, calling me one more time. I still cannot believe it, but he is in front of me right now. And indeed, the smile is still the same as before. His gaze is also the one that I had longed for long.

I hug him tightly. I'm afraid if this is a dream. I hope this is real, because if it doesn't, I never want to wake up. I feel the touch from his hand on my hair. He's real. He survived. He's alive.

"Jungkook ... Jungkook." I call out his name.

He strokes my hair again, "I'm here, Hayi." He says it softly, "Don't cry, Hayi. I'm still here, and I'll stay."

This time for real, I love you.