The brown notebook

The Letter

Noah? Were have I heard that name from. I pulled out my phone and checked my notifications. I had a message from noah. I mean I dont know where my Noah is so I cant be jumping to conlclusions, I was about to reply when I heard a cough. I looked up to see Noah staring(in deep thought may I add) at me.

"Yes?" I asked

"Is there anything you would llike to further your stay. I mean to get comfortable in your room. It will in fact be yours for a year. Start getting comfy." He finished with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I need a lamp. If thats alright. Do you know if theres a town library?" I asked

"I will tell Jerry to get that for you in the morning. As for the library I have quite the collection of books." He responded.

"Yes, thank you. Also, I found a journal and I would like to know if you know who Alice Smith is?" I finished my dinner and pushed the plate back. I looked up to hear a choking sound.

'"uhm-uh yes why?" 

" It belongs to her and somebody name Jaymz Summers." I got up from the table and walked to my room. Before I entered I was grabbed back and met with wild eyes.

"May I see this journal you speak of?" He looked away.

"uh Yes." I walked in and grabbed the journal carefully giving it to him. He looked through it reading briefly skipping pages.. I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to my Noah. Sorry I'm in Poland. I looked up to see tears start to fall down slowly from his perfectly imperfect face. More tears followed after I rudely grabbed the journal and hid it, while he was in shock. 

He looked at Karoline with muderous eyes yelling German improfanitites. She looked taken back. Karoline ruffly grabbed him and locked her lips with his. As if being contolled Noah wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer afraid she'll get away. Their lips moved in sync before she pulled away and looked him in the eye. As if on cue Noah let go of her and ran out of her room not once looking back. That night while Noah was at the farthest bar in town drinking until he  couldnt remember that the kiss ever happened, Karoline was in bed thinking what she ever did wrong. The voices were getting to her. She thought she stopped. Apparently not.

She walked into the bathroom, grabbed the sides of the tub and sat down, she looked at the blades in front of her and grabbed one.With  shaking  fingers she grasped the cold little thing and forced it on her wrist. Every negative thought instantly went away with thoughts of guilt as she dragged the blade across her skin a few more times. She was losing conscious but that wasn't stopping her. She got out of the tub and washed her wrists she stayed looking at the blood seep out and pour at the sides of her arm. Hours later sitting in a fetal position she heard a thump and got up carefully. She looked and saw Noah with some blonde eating each others faces off. Tears started to pour as she ran into her room making sure not to make one sound locked the door and pulled out the emergency pills she always took with her. Sitting once again in the tub she popped a couple pills and went back to the room pulled out the journal and started to read.

July 20,1940

Nothings happened lately. Only Hitler and his never ending rules. I think about Jaymz more than I ever think I have. I havent went back to the house since that day. I remember looking at Jaymzs' eyes and saw happiness. Some lucky girl is keeping him sane. Something I failed to do. I still wonder what happened to the Summers I know they went into hiding, but I would like to see them one last time. 

I pulled out the letter that I found that day in our hideout and read it.

Dear Alice,

I know how much you are probably going through right now. Well atleast I think I do. Please dont give up. I may have given up on myself, but please dont give up. I turned myself in, but as a German soldier not as a Jewish prisoner. Nobody suspects a thing.I'm glad.I miss you, everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, the way your hair looks like a darkish blonde but a lighter brown. I love you Alice and dont you forget it. Ze gewoon vermoedt dat er een ding, ik doorgestreept al onze families en een beetje vrienden.(They wont suspect a thing, I crossed off all of our families and a bit of friends).I hope you get this letter before you ever see me, but Alice I would love it if you came to the park we used to go to. I will be there at 4:20 in the morning on July 22, 1940. I would like to see you before I leave to another state to fight. I'm writing this mostly in pitch black only enough to see half of what I'm writing hence the shortness of it. I love you Alice Smith.

I will always be thinking about you

Yours truly,

 Jaymz Summers

I didnt know what to think, But one thing was for sure as I touched the necklace that Jaymz gave me on my 12th birthday, I will try my best to get there and be there on July 22.

For better or for worse, in sickness and in health

love,

Alice Smith

As Karoline closed the journal her eyelids were getting droopy she got up ignoring the loud banging coming from behind her door, and went into the bathroom finishing what she started. Pulling the tap open she swallowed all the pills left in the orange container. Grabbing the blade she drew a kanvas on her wrists. Moments later she was out letting darkness consume her, wishing she had something as special as Jaymz and Alice.