Alone

The Blade .

Chapter 2 .


Sitting there on my bed , I finally decided on what I wanted to do.
So many thoughts running through my mind were telling me to do it . They were telling me bad things .
"Cut Jenna ! Do it ! You know it'll help ! Come on Jenna !"

I took enough of the thoughts and ran to the bathroom . Locking the door behind me . I stared in the mirror at the appearance in front of me . "Ugly as fuck !" I screamed , kicking the sink . Cringing at the pain I began to hold back the tears that started to swell up in my eyes .

I sat down on the floor against the wall . Debating ... Thinking ... Crying my eyes out .
Life was getting to me . Just sinking in . Why was life so hard ? Why ?!
Looking up and wiping my eyes I saw the shiny reflection of my blade out the corner of my eye . Bending up I grabbed it and slammed it against the counter to bust the blade out of it .

Thinking and thinking . One side of me was fighting the urge , but the other just wanted to do it so bad .
Going with the bad side I put the blade on my forearm and held it down hard . Slowly but deeply I cut ... Sliding it down my arm . I moved the blade and beads of blood began to form on top.
The sight of the blood sent a rush through my body . I loved it so much . I went for it again . But on the same cut , making it deeper . I watched as the blood trickled down my arm . Warm and so crimson . I loved it .
I sat there and cut 3 more times down . Over and over , making them deep .
Feeling great about what I just did , I grabbed a rag and laid it across my arm . The blood just bled straight through .
When clots began to form I cleaned up the blade , stuck it in my pocket, pulled down my sleeves and went to my room .

I sat there on my bed . Thinking about the cuts . They stung but it was worth it .
I touched them gently and the feeling sent a slight sting up my arm . They looked bad , but it wasn't like anyone paid much attention to me anyways .

I glanced over at my phone , being smart enough not to touch it or check it . I just turned out my side lamp on the dresser and fell into a deep sleep . I was NOT ready for tomorrow .