Jian (Love at first text)

Day 2: I'm Sorry

I never thought people would actually read this story so thank you for the start of reading and voting on this!! I will have the notices of bad things or triggering in the beginning like the one below

WARNING: Contains self harm and sad thoughts and swearing

Kian POV

I don't know what I did wrong. I was just trying to joke around with Jc, but I forgot some people can be sensitive to that kind of stuff. I should have asked him first.

"You are so stupid Kian Lawley" I said to myself.

I haven't self harmed in a long time. Almost a year ago I stopped. For some reason I want to start again. Maybe me being dumb? Not being able to keep a friend? I don't know what it was, but my thoughts told me to go do it again.

I couldn't take the thoughts anymore! I ran up to my room and grabbed a new razor. I used my nails to break open the top part of the plastic then peeled of a blade. I started making lines across my arms and thighs.

Why don't you try your stomach now?!

I listened to the voice and went along with it. Cutting my stomach hurt like an ass!

I cleaned up my cuts and went downstairs to start up dinner. I live alone so my meals are small and quick.  I'm not very good at dealing with anxiety and voices if you couldn't tell. I get worried that I messed up and it leads to bad things. I wish I could change that...

DING!

The microwave went off and I grabbed my Mac and cheese, some water and my phone and went to the couch.

I was watching sponge bob like the little kid I am until my phone goes off.

From: Jc😞

Hi Kian... I'm sorry too! I am a bit sensitive to things like that and I guess I just flipped out. You didn't know, it wasn't your fault. I found someone's tumblr page that has your name on it, but the pictures were of cuts on someone's body... Please tell me that's not you??

I ignored the text at first thinking it was to good to be true he was sorry, but then he texted about my latest cutting post. He found my account...

Jc😞: Kian.... I caused those?? If that's your account it says that only 5 MINUTES AGO YOU STARTED CUTTING ON YOUR STOMACH AND ITS CAPTIONED SORRY J..... Please don't do that anymore.... I didn't really hate you or anything. I changed your name... To keenthebean.... I found it kinda cute❤️😘

I looked down at my phone and started crying. I didn't want Jc knowing that. Though the nickname was cute. I texted back just simply saying

Kian: hi...

No Ones POV

Jay-See: Kian!! Omg did you read my messages?? Is it true? How long? I'm sorry are you ok? Should I come over??

Keenthebean: I read them... It's ok, don't be sorry... It's true and I'm sorry you had to find out like that😭😭 I'm ok and I don't need anyone to come over, I promise.

Jay-See: I don't want my baby hurt😓 and please don't cry, it's not your fault I don't cut but my friend Connor did and it was hard for him to stop so I get it. Please tell me when you want to do it! I will help you through it.

Keenthebean: Thanks for being here for me, Jc. I thought I was daddy💦💙😍😘

Jay-See: You can be both.  I'm older so your my little baby but still look daddy material.

Keenthebean: awwwwwe! I don't know you too well but I do know that ur cute, could u send me another picture of you?

Jay-See: well.... I'm a mess, hot mess so idk...

Keenthebean: For me? Kian Lawley? Your future boyfriend and husband?

Jay-See: really?! You would date me?!

Keenthebean: yea by the way u text u seem pretty chill and I like you already. :3 :3

Jay-See: KIGGYS!!!!!! Omg I like you too... But I want to meet you first.

Keenthebean: I'm drinking so I gtg

Jay-See: excuse me young man?? U better not be doing any drinking!

Keenthebean: Driving!! I swear I meant driving, I'm going out for a late night drive and I don't wanna crash, I'll text you tomorrow morning, k?

Jay-See: yea! Careful babe and I'll send a picture of me tomorrow, love Ya!

Keenthebean: we aren't together yet, not until we meet baby😚☺️😉

Jay-See: alrighty then, bye babe (still gonna call you that!)

Keenthebean: bye bye!

This wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!! I'm starting school really soon so this story might have slow updates and I changed the writing style to look more like text messages and not like god writing!! I will have a new page up tomorrow or soon! Once more people start to read I'll have a Q and A up but for now I'll see you beautiful people soon!

-😘😃😊