“Alana!”
I look up to see my mom sitting in the car with the window rolled down. She looks pretty pissed off. Maybe I should just make a run for it. - Who am I kidding? I have to deal with this sometime; I just won’t tell her about Conner. Maybe. So I walk towards the car, as slow as I can with my head down looking at the pavement, trying to procrastinate so I won’t have to talk to my mom.
“Alana will you hurry up.” She yells. She looks very annoyed when I look up at her.
“Whatever – I’m coming as fast as I can.” I mumble loud enough for her to hear.
She groans, “Alana, I’m serious. Hurry it up!”
I walk faster because people are looking now, because she is so damn loud, because I am so embarrassed. When I get into the car, she looks at me very seriously and says, “So where were you last night? By the look and smell of it, you were out partying again!” She taps the steering wheel wildly. Her eyes not leaving mine.
“Geez mom, am I ever able to go out with some friends?” I try not to laugh because her serious face is an EPIC FAIL. She’s just making herself look mental!
“Yes you are. I just think you should find different friends; Zoey isn’t a very good influence on you. You’re never home, you’re always ditching school, you’re always partying!! ”
“Yeah, and you aren’t a very good influence, either mom!”
She turns her head and starts driving away from the curb. I kind of regret what I just said, She’s tried her best to raise me well, I just don’t bother to listen, but even if I apologize it won’t change a thing. We drive in silence all the way home, and it reminds me of being with Heath last night. Then I think of Conner. I need to know what happened last night or else this thought of us having sex will haunt me forever.
We get to the house, my mom gets out of the car really fast and walks into the house. She looks like she is about to cry. I have never hurt my mom before but not this badly. Crap. How am I suppose to tell her about Conner, if she won’t talk to me. Maybe I just won’t tell her; she won’t care anyway… and there’s nothing she could do about it. I sit in the car for about five minutes before I get out and walk into my house.
Once I’m get inside, I close the door behind me quietly, and I hear the faint sobs of my mom upstairs in her room. I just walk into the kitchen; grab left over pizza and walk up to my room. Sleepily, I stumble into my room; I throw myself onto my bed, turn on my TV and turn it up loud so it drowns out the sound of my mom’s crying. I can’t hurt her like this anymore. The more I hurt her, the more I hurt myself. I do love my mom, but she just doesn’t understand me.
“… it down please?”
I look up to see my mom standing by the door, so I turn down my TV. “What?”
“I said, could you keep it down please.” She said in a faint whisper.
“Mom, I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what sweetie?”
“Live here, I hate it! Dad’s gone, I never really talk to you because I’m always fighting with you, and I’m always out partying. So really what is the point living here with you”
She walks towards me and sits down at the foot of my bed “ Well you can’t possibly go live somewhere else, and I told you to change your friends, then things will turn out fine.”
“God never mind then. But there is something I need to tell you.” God, here it goes. I’m going to tell her about Conner. “I – I think I might …”
