This Worthless Life (SoraMafu) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 5 : Soraru

Mafu doesn't want the fake me. I repeated the words over and over again in my head. I should not love him. There is no good ending from this. I turned towards my mirror again, and gripped the knife so hard that it drew blood.
"No one would really love me, right?" I asked softly. My eyes trained on the bloodied knife. I used to collect knives, but Mafu doesn't know. "As I thought, no one would want someone as broken and disgusting as me." My eyes remained dry. I seemed to have lost the ability to cry, it seems. I let my eyes fall shut and the past to pull me in.

=-=

When he first turn 13, he knew that no one will ever love him, since he isn't pure, he is dirty, and too bad, his mother never knew he was raped by his own father. She was out drinking every night, and had many affairs with men she met in the bars. But still, it hurts when she comes home from whenever she went, bottle in hand, and begging for sex from his father.
His sister usually protected him from those scenes, and he usually needs his sister to help him. But one day, his parents were arguing, and his sister tried to stop them, they shoved her and she hit her head on the sharp end of the table.

"Mom!! Dad!!" He screamed, but they didn't listen. "Onee-chan is bleeding!!" Tears blurred his vision as he tried in vain to stop the flowing blood. "Mom!! Dad!!" He sobbed, and the arguing in the background slowly stopped. His mother pushed him away from his sister and glared at him. "What's wrong with you? Why did you push your sister?!" "I did not-" he did not finish his words, as his mother slapped him across the face. "Since when I taught you to talk back to me, scum?" His eyes widened at such an insult, but he chose to ignore it. Right now his sister is much more important. Taking a deep breath, he fall into the act of a hysterical brother. "Mom, get the doctor!" He wailed, tears coming down even faster. "Go call!"

But it was too late. By the time the paramedics arrived, his sister was already dead. All they can do is carry the corpse to the morgue, and wait for her funeral.

That's when he finally lost hope in everything.

=_=

A shudder ran past my body, as I sighed, opening my eyes. The door creaked opened slightly and I looked up. It's Mafu. The albino peeked in, his wide red eyes focusing on me, before hesitantly clearing his throat. "S-Sora-chan..?" He trailed off. "Hmm?" "Can I come in?" I sat up on my bed, feeling self-consious, and nodded, patting the spot next to me. "Come." He padded in softly, and curled up next to me. "I'm sorry about what I said just now. I-I don't mean it." "It's fine," escapes my lips and I smiled. In truth, I wanted to scream. It's not!! Why can you ever say the truth, dumbass?!
Mafu fiddled with my blanket for a while before looking back up, completely missing the fake expressions that flitted across my face. "It's raining outside," he stated bluntly, and I frowned. I like rain. It had always been pretty and calming and- A flash of lightning jolted both of us, and Mafu screamed, burying his face in my shoulder. Oh- oh- I had completely forgotten that the albino absolutely hates lightning, and thunder.
"It's fine. I'm here," I cooed softly to him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear until he falls asleep, curling himself himself tighter against me whenever there is thunder. In return, I hugged him just as tight, and we slept the whole night off without any disturbances.

Of course. That is what I hope, but not what that happened.

I woke up, panting, at 1 in the morning, sweat running down my body. Beside me, Mafu stirred a little, but did not wake. I brushed a strand of white hair off his face, and let out a small sob I don't know I was holding. Alternating between the current me and the actual me, it was too hard to deal with. Everything was pushing down on me, and nightmares haunted my sleep. I can't rest, as everytime I close my eyes everything, including my past, will try it's best to hunt me down.
It's hard. At this rate, I'm losing the sight of my real self, and I'm scared that I'll forget who I was back then, who I am right now. I am scared that everyone will leave me, that they will all hate me. Especially Mafu. My angel. My only love-

Without knowing it, I was already crying, the sobs racking my body. As I rock back and forth slowly, the albino beside me stirred and opened his eyes. "Sora-chan?" His voice set me off again to a series of low, painful, choking sobs. "Are you okay?" He sounded genuinely distressed and worried, and I felt arms around me. "Mafu-" I gasped out loud, my shirt already wet from my sweat and tears. His grip around me tightened suddenly.
Suddenly, I was alternating between two worlds. In my mind, I replayed the scene where my sister died over and over again, and trashed wildly. "No! Don't leave me..." I gasped. I couldn't see- couldn't hear- and I want- I want-

A soft blow of air to my ear shocked me. I blinked and stared up at Mafu, whom had his eyes closed as he murmured softly to me. I didn't know that my subconscious will throw me things like that out of the blue. Perhaps I should see a psychologist.
"It's all just a dream, Sora-chan, all a dream. No one is finding you, no one is dying, it's all just a dream," he said softly, his head on my shoulder. "Mafu..?" I hate how pathetic my voice sound like. But he just nodded, smiling so brightly. "Yup, I'm here. I'm here for you," he smiled, and kissed my ear softly, before adding, "You should sleep, Sora-chan, it's still early." "You won't leave me?" My voice sound like a child's. I hate myself for that.

There was a terrifying pause before he answered.

"I won't."

A/N : Yeah, this is fluff-turned-idk-what. I've finally came to the realization that this plot had been thrown away from the original, so I'm sorry *bows a million times* and it seemed like in this chapter Soraru was the weak one.....AAAAAAAAA I'M SORRRRY-

-Aru