Truth is. I am nobody's first choice. And I have learned to understand that. Life is rough. Say reality took away our mentality, tried to show us morality but all they brought was brutality. I feel like everyone actually likes watching me fall apart.
My parents think all this depression is just a phase. Yet, they refuse to take me anywhere out of the house because "I'm unstable". But you know, they probably think me being unstable is just a phase too. I really don't understand why they think that way.
My brother, Tyler, had the same problem, he had depression. That is, until he was in a major car accident. Before that he had been caught three times for suicide attempts. Still, my parents thought his was a phase too. Many people including me and my sister think he purposely wrecked his car. Which I know sounds bad but, I can't help but think it.
My sister, Halley, went away to college last year. She is majoring in psychology, in hopes that one day she can be a therapist. Halley says she wants to stop people from getting to the point when they start attempting suicide. I think she really just wants closure on Tyler. I mean they were always really close. But, either way that's how she will spend the rest of her life, listening to other people's problems.
I on the other hand, am still here. In this house full of people that don't care the least about my well being. And I'm not alone, I have friends. But at the same time, no matter how many people are around me I will always feel so lonely.
My best friend has always been Max, he used to live next door but he moved a couple years ago. After he left his girlfriend, or ex girlfriend,Megan and I became really close. Then I started getting sad, and it just got worse. I hadn't seen her since god knows when. Megan was in pretty much all my classes before my parents took me out of public school. We tried private school and when they finally decided I was unstable they took me home. They made me take online classes. Eventually they stopped taking me places, I was always home.
A couple months past of me being home alone and people started asking my parents where I was. They made up stupid excuses like oh she's been out of town visiting her sick grandmother, and she has been really busy lately. But soon they ran out of lies to tell so we packed up our stuff and moved across the country. I know, drastic measures just because they ran out of excuses to tell people.
Still, I wasn't getting better. But, they refused to believe it. Maybe they thought I was trailing after Tyler, or whatever. Okay, anyway that's where this lead, so now I'm sitting in my room listening to music. Most people that actually knew I existed thought I lived with my headphones in. Which I won't lie, I kind of do.
Tonight my parents had a really important dinner that they were hosting for their coworkers. And none of them knew I existed. So, before everyone came my mom brought me up some food and water and explained how tonight was going to go. At six everyone was going to be showing up, so I was told not to leave my room. Be quiet, and by eight everyone should be gone.
"Morgan I'm serious right now. If you ruin this for us, you will be in huge trouble."
"What are you going to do? Send me to my room?" I laughed a little. My mom shot me a dirty look and left. She closed my door and locked it from the outside. When we moved here she made sure I had a room that she can lock. Probably so I don't ruin these special nights for them.
I sat back down on my bed and put my headphones back in. Started played my music loudly and began dozing off.
