Hi.. call me monster for short, 20 years old turning 21 this 3rd week of January...
This is just my way of sharing my story.. Sharing my best years of existence coz it was shared with someone i really cared for and love so much up until now.. I am a registered nurse by profession took up bachelor of science in nursing in one of the well known university in Manila. I am writing this not to win her back but to at least ease some pain in my lonely heart.
I had 2 relationships before.. when i met her.. yes HER... I really dont believe in LOVE.. i usually say I love you out of nowhere.. i dont know what it really means since the day that i met her.. yeah i met her through phone.. still have'nt seen her in person due to our far locations but we had plans.. before Last January 4, 2012..
There came us November 2, 2009... you see i've been wanting her to court me.. before i thought she was a guy.but i after 6 mos... i already got this feeling that she is not... i mean HE is really a SHE.. neverless the fact still i accepted her..
I never believe in same sex relationships, nor believe that it really existed but things change. Karma i guess.. i fell inlove with a girl.. lets call her YEti... I call her that,, she calls me monster.. no matter what she calls me.. i dont care. I love her... i really do.
We had fun.. yeah its me who gets jealous most of the time.. Our times together are the most exciting yet the best time for me in this whole wide world. I dont know about her.. well she never believed in LOve... but now she do.. not because of me.. but because of another girl.. and im really jealous. it feels like having so much pain inside you that you really want to shout your heart out. January 4, 2011 .. she broke up with me,, i can still remember the words she said..
yeti: may gf na ako
me: oh tlaga? (i was really hoping she will tell my name)
yeti: mahal ko na
me:: ah ok.
yeti: lets...
break up...
for real...
lets.. break up for real...
lets break up for real...
it keeps on echoing inside my little head and suddenly it entered my chest and caused so much pain..
I felt numb...
she said: I only care for you... my love for you was not love after all
and hell yeah.. i was doomed.
that night i cried... being dehydrated from gastroenteritis.. not eating anything for the past 3 days.. i dont know where all those tears came from.. i just cried... that very same day.. with a pale look and unstable gait.. i went to LBC to send her something.. i sent her one of my baby bear,, and some of my stuffs... i was supposed to send that on my 21st bday i dont know why i did.. now i know the reason.. because that very same day.. she'll break up with me..
a/n: hell yeah im crying.. NOW PLAYING: IN ANOTHER LIFE BY KYLE PATRICK
we had plans.. and just because of some reasons i dont know she left me hanging.. i wanted to bed her to stay but i cant. i know i cant.. she said she loves someone else and i can let her stay with me. she needs to be happy..
i deleted her messages.. even broke my phones lcd.. i did some stupid acts....
it was like when you feel like having someone hold your hand.. then let it go.. let you fall in an ocean deep.
she promised me not to let go.. but she did.. she just did.. she let go..
she let me go.. without any definite reasons she left me...
now i know shes happy..she even have this tagline in one of the social networking sites...
her tagline: "SHE"S A DREAM COME TRUE.. I LOVE HER.. ONLY her..
only and only if i know that she will left me that same day.. i should have made some thing special..
and now im still here... writing this story..
i know many of you will say this is boring.. that love did not really exist between us..
my question is...
have you ever felt this feeling??we'll never know what is love until we encountered one. but the thing is. you really dont know who will show you what is love...
now i dont have any choice but to let her go,,,
if given the chance i'll fight for her.. maybe just maybe.. in my next life..
RT:
people think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.
Yeti will always be inside my heart,, i now she will..
in this life.. we will never know how long we can live.. and some one us even got premonitions(tama ba un spelling?) till when they will live.. for me...
i know for fact.. i wont last long... i know my mission is soon to be accomplished..
but i was really happy i met her.. she taught me how to love.. and i wanna thank her.. if she's reading this right now...
YETI.. i'll search for you soon.. :)
Yes.. i am a lesbian.. i turned out to be one..
but im happy that i became one because of her.. :)
i will love her always...
thanks for reading my story :)
