That Boy

Mornings, Lies and Waterfalls

*Claire's POV*

It was horrible.
It was my birthday and instead of spending it with my boyfriend, I spent it by sleeping with his best friend.

Regret, remorse, saddness.
That was my inner condition.

"Fuck." Zayn cursed under his breath before we silently got up and dressed.

"You got carried away again?" I found myself asking him. "I was drunk." He replied without looking at me.

A sinking feeling made me frown. We were drunk but we weren't schmangled. I initiated in a drunken state because I felt feelings being a vibe in the tent. Not lust.

"But, didn't you say something last night?" I asked him in disbelief. This has to be some sort of joke.

"I told you I was drunk. It was a mistake." He mumbled in reply.

"A mistake?" My volume rose slightly. He nodded in reply.

"Zayn, I was a virgin." He looked up at me with eyes wide in horror.

"You took my virginity away because of a mistake? You took away something that was not yours. Why? Because you were drunk?" I was yelling slightly.

"I-I'm sorry." He looked down again.

"Let's get to the point. Did you want it to happen?"
"No. But I-"

"Did you plan all this?"
"Absolutely not. I w-"

"Do you regret it?"
"Yes. Be-"

"Do you love me?" I asked the final question, my heart beating at the fastest rate possible. I crossed my fingers behind me as I waited for his answer.

I felt something for him the night we kissed. Last night was nothing different but now, I was praying he felt the same.

He looked at me, square in the eye. Taking aim. And then he pulled the trigger, "No."

The water, the noise, it all just went quite for a second, and I was left with a dull ringing in my ear, like after a show, like after a heart monitor goes to flat. Because mine had.

"I thought we were the same in this." I looked at him with tears as he looked up at me with apologetic eyes.

"Have a great life Zayn. I hope we never run into each other after this trip." I turned and walked out of his tent before tears fell from my eyes as he called out my name repeatedly.

Letting go. Everyone talks about it like it is the easiest thing in the world. Unfurl your fingers one by one until your hand is open. But my hand had been clenched into a fist ever since I was a child, I held to anything that made me happy. I held Harry, Chemistry, Steven, adventure...and Zayn. As a result, my hand is frozen shut. All of me is frozen shut. And about to shut down completely.

I never cry due to other people. This was the only time I was crying due to someone else, after my father's death. I stopped crying a little away from our camping area and pulled myself together before laying down in my tent. Fingers of light had started prying open the night sky. Soon the sun would rise and a new day will invaluably begin. A day in which Zayn and I will see each other for the last time.

I'm yours.
Zayn's voice repeated in my head over and over again as I tried to sleep.

"Sky?" A husky voice made me open my eyes. "Good morning Harry." I tried to sound sleepy. And to smile.

I took in his familiar face. The one that used to be a part of every single thought that crossed my mind, was now just an old memory.

"Where were you last night?" He asked me with a stern expression before I wiped my sweaty palms on my dress.