This is a favorite of mine. It is not my writing, although I wish it was. It was written by my 7th grade English teacher, Mrs. Picolotti. Just thought I'd share. ~KK
English, Grammar
There's no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England,nor French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of "tooth" is "teeth", why isn't the plural of "booth" "beeth"?
One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?
Doesn't it sound crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
That you can unkempt, but not kempt?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends, and get rid of one of them, what do you call it? Is it an "odd" or an "end"?
The teachers taught, so therefore the preachers praught?!?
Do you think you blink when you drink? I thought I blinked when I drank.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what other language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the lunacy of a language
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
In which an alarm goes off by going on, and in which your house can burn up as it burns down. And inside that house, how can your burning couch be both flammable and inflammable at the same time?
Let the evidence show why English is so hard to learn, but it is a passion, for which I yearn to share with anyone who should care for the quest, in what you guessed, English.
