Trè-by Sitting

Trè-by Sitting, Part I

"He needs to be fed, bathed, and asleep by the time I come back, understand, Trè?" Billie asked in a stern tone, eyeing Trè suspiciously.

"Yes, Sir!" Trè chirped in response, taking the baby carrier from his friend. "Don't you worry buddy, you just go have fun on your date, I'll take good care of little Spazzy, don't worry about him-"

"Oh no, I'll worry, trust me," Billie retorted. "The only reason he's with you and not Mike is because Mike needed a break from babysitting. He's a little royal pain and I don't think you know what you signed up for."

"Awwww, he takes after his dad!" Trè gushed sarcastically, "So young and he's already just like Daddy!"

Billie rolled his eyes, not even smiling at his friend's annoying and predictable joke.

"Whatever. You laugh now, but in an hour or so, you won't be laughing."

"Oh shut up, I love this little guy, I'll have lots of fun with him!" Trè shot back with a smile, "You're full of shit!"

"Oh yeah, I've only spent all day every day for the past two months at home with him, I know nothing." Billie was clearly tired of discussing this with Trè.

"Oh, just go pick your bitch up," Trè responded impatiently, waving Billie away with his hand. "Them females, they don't like to be kept waiting, and you don't want her ditching you on the first date!"

"Mmm hmm," Billie grunted flatly. "I'm sure you know lots about that."

"I AM AN EXPERT," Trè basically screamed, startling Billie.

"Far from it actually, Trè," Billie returned when his ears had stopped ringing as a result of Trè's shouting. "Stick to your day job, buddy. Anyway, I gotta go. Make sure to do everything I told you, okay? No excuses."

"You got it, Daddypants," Trè responded cheerily, "Now go get smashed and DESTROY THAT PUSSY!"

"That's rushing into it," Billie responded with an uncomfortable smile as he knelt down in front of the baby carrier dangling from Trè's forearm.

He reached his hand in and brushed the tiny boy's hair with his hand, saying to him softly, "Be good, okay, little Boo? Don't be too fussy with your uncle Trè, you hear me? Daddy will be back soon."

Billie leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the boy's small forehead.

"Bye baby. Be good!"

He stood up and walked over to his car, ignoring Trè's absurd calls of well-wishing and eventually driving away.

Trè watched Billie's car disappear down the street and then carried the small baby inside, walking over to the couch and plopping down on it. He reached into the carrier and slowly pulled his two-month-old nephew into his arms, tucking him into the crook of his arm and melting back into the couch.

"Heyyyy baby Billie," he drawled sweetly, reaching for one of the baby's tiny hands and wrapping it around his finger. "How are you, little guy? How's that Nap Life treating you, huh? I sure wish I could nap all day like you do! Maybe even with your daddy too, huh..."

Trè smiled at his little nephew, stroking his soft little hand and bringing it up to his lips to kiss it.

"Oh, you're not a pain, you're such a good little boy, yes you are, your daddy's so full of shit, yes he is..."

"Dad, who are you talking to?"

Trè looked up to see his ten-year-old son staring at him from across the room.