forgetting [ larry stylinson au ]

last diary entry #4

September 30, 2015

I'm doing it. I'm going to be with you and we can spend forever together. Look, I don't know where we go after we die and that scares me. Are you safe? Will I be safe? This is life, Louis. This is our actual life we're going to be living forever. I don't know if there's a second life or anything, or if there's anything after we die. Just promise me I'll be safe? Can we still have children if we're dead? I thought about adoption a lot after you died. I thought, 'Louis would've wanted me to be happy,' but the thing is, I want you. I can't be a parent without you. It would hurt. I'm giving up, Louis. I'm giving up and I'm actually okay with it. I know you don't regret killing yourself. I know how you feel. I do admit though, I do feel selfish. The other boys will be fine. This is the longest diary entry I've made, so, I should probably stop. I'll be with you soon though. I hope you've been reading these. Are you one of those ghosts that stay around because of unfinished business? I know you are. You're missing me. You and I, we're going to be okay. I love you. I love you so much. I've missed you, sunshine.

Haz, your prince, your love, your everything. x