karamatsu

#2

Karamatsu POV
"I had to I just had to" I whisper looking at my bleeding arm. Osomatsu made fun of me again for nothing like always. "Why can't they be nicer to me why can't they respect me" I whisper starting to cry again I fell to the floor covering my eyes with my hands. "Hey you alright in there shittymatsu" someone says I don't care who it was so I yell. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CARE GO AWAY" I gear footsteps walk away and i just cry more. I finaly get up and clean the.mess I made and walk out of the bathroom. Just when my brothers looked at me i remember I didn't clean my face. 'shit now there ganna be curious on why I was crying ' I think looking at them. They looked at me then totty laughed. "Shittymatsu trying to get attention like always how bout it" they start laughing and tears roll down my face as I run out of the house looking for some place so I could stay. As I'm walking I realise I should go to the beach so I start heading over there. While I do I start to sing a song. As I reach the beach I sit down and watvh the waves crash on echother. "Why cant we all get along" I say starting to think about my brothers. "God dammit WHY" I yell out the last part crying again. All of a sudden I hear "HUSTLE HUSTLE MUSCLE MUSCLE" oh crap jyushi. I try to run but its no use he sees me. "Niisan what's wrong" he says running to me. I look at him but don't awnswer and start walking away. "NIISAN TELL ME WHATS WRONGGGG" he yells grabbing my arm. I pull away and run off gosh I don't like when he bothers me like this. I hear a distant 'niisan' but keep running. As I make it to my house I hear latter from inside eh probably drunk again. As I walk in I hear one say "its like shittymatsu is ganna start telling us he has been cutting then he shows us fake cuts and were all like oh no we love you brother don't do it he'd such a fakeer" I walk in and sit in the corner they look at me then whisper on with there conversation. I get out a pen and paper and start writing stuff down. Hmm let's see here. #1 jumping of a building. #2 digest alot of pills. #3 cut wrists. I go on with the list i make till someone takes it, ichi. He stares at the list then takes it to the brothers. They look at it and laugh there heads off. I get up and head to the bathroom once more. So I could possibly continue in there. As I write down more ways to kill myself I get out my friend, the razor. I cut myself a few times. When I'm about done I hear knocking on the door. "Not again" I accidentally say out loud "what do you mean kara", choro. "nothing now go away havnt you ever hurd of privacy" I snap at him "well we have noticed you're a bathroom hog care to tell us why" he says a little annoyed. "Actually I do care now leave me alone" I say cutting myself again, gosh he makes me mad alot but even though I still care for him. "Don't make me come in there" he says getting eritated. At this point I start to panic I get up and try to clean everything I could but there was still a bit of blood on my arm and he comes in. I look at him and freak. "What are you doing what happend to you're arm" he says taking my arm. I whimper cause it hurt a bit. He looked at me concerned then went to his normal face. "Hey totty!" He yelled out. "Huh" I hear "you're right karamatsu is cutting himself" he laughed a bit. "r-really" I hear them say through gasps for air. Choro takes me to the living room and shows them. Blood still coming from my new cuts. "Hold on a sec" ichi says getting up he shuffles towards me and grips my arm. I scream in pain as he grips tighter pools of blood come from my cuts as he lets go of me. They stare at me for a sec and ichi looks surprised but speaks up. "H-have you really been c-cutting yourself" he says looking at his bloody hand. I start crying and get up. "Kara why didn't you tell us" osomatsu says. I couldn't take it anymore I run out of the house running to who knows where I just wanna get away from them. I can't beleave they found out about my cuts.  I finaly found a place to rest and I sit down on a bench crying. This is the day, the day where I end my suffering my pain. My life.