Patience Is A Virtue

Patience Definition- 1

"Who wants a woman with a kid? Look at you, you're crazy! Whoever told you that you qualify to be a parent?" She laughs hysterically. A tear slips out of my eye and I glance down at the growing bump on my stomach. 

"Patience?" Dr. Valeris snaps his fingers in my face and I jump back surprised. I wipe the tear the sneaked out, off of my face and look at him. 

"What were you thinking about?" He asks softly. Dr. Valeris, a quite handsome man. I know he doesn't think of me the way that I think of him, but it doesn't hurt to imagine. He hasn't told me much about himself but I know enough from observation. 

He's married to woman named Taylor, he has a son named Devon, his birthday was on July 17th which was two months ago exactly. He checks on his parents everyday at 12 pm, just before my appointment with him. I mean,  I don't stalk him, it's just in my nature to observe my surroundings.

"Nothing." 

"Ms. Louis, you have to talk to me. We've made absolutely no progress today. Don't think this is only to help yourself, this is to help Lisa too." My head hangs low and I stare at my fidgeting hands. He just doesn't understand.

"Doctor, how exactly do you plan on helping me?" I ask looking into his hazel eyes. They're so subtle, almost childlike.

"Well, once we get to the source of the issue we'll sort through it." He says setting his chart down beside him. I stare at him, trying to find some trace of unreliability.

"What if there were no diagnostics? What if I am the problem? How would you sort through years of shattered hearts that have never fully recovered? How will you begin to walk through the darkness of my heart where my mind has foolishly fallen also? How will you sort through a problem that's been here the whole time?" I shake my head side to side knowing the answer myself. "You can't doctor, you just can't" I whisper, aware that I am the issue in my problems. Maybe if I weren't here...

"Patience is a virtue."He says breaking through my ill thoughts. "Patience, what you don't realize is that you've been living life the wrong way this entire time. You have to find you, find out who you want to be, find exactly how you want to live." I do know how I want to live, the question is do I want live? "I know you're thinking 'iv'e tried this one too many times' but it's different this time Ms. Louis."

"How?" I ask, like his answer will change my thoughts.

"Now you have someone to help you pick up the pieces." He says softly, his voice calming like his subtle eyes. His answer didn't change my mind, but it did give me hope.