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"I'm not listening to this" I state

"Well then close your ears, poop face!"

"Shut up, you only exist because of red wine and a broken condom"

"Mommy!, what's a condom?!"

My mothers face turns beat red.

"Yeah mom, what's a condom?"

"Kaylie! Just listen to the damn song!"

And I sit for the next 5 minutes, enduring the obnoxious voices of the Disney gang, singing an awful(er) rendition of Call Me Maybe

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