his mute voices

#1

"How many days has it been?" he screamed in silence.

He remembered the day very clearly. Two kings of Hoshido and Nohr proposed a meeting to discuss some royal matters, King Sumeragi said, to his children.

That fateful day... That fateful day was the day when everything exactly went wrong.

When that "meeting" ended, only his father's retainers had remained. This was the one that started the small flame inside him that gradually churned ablaze as he grew up.

Not only was his father killed, but a notable family member, his older sister, the middle child among five, was taken away. Of course, it's quite typical for this family to mourn over two of their losses... 

At the beginning, that is. He silently followed what they all had did. Just to mourn, and to fight for their kingdom. He had especially learned that the kingdom of Nohr was filled with pathetic scum that he needed to kill. All of his siblings in fact, had that notion. Their mother had told them to work together as a family and earn her back to see how true her blood of birthright is.

But he began to think. It all started as a simple curiosity.

If she was going to be a part of their kingdom, truly, she had to forget what her real bloodline was, and she needed to learn that their neighboring kingdom was their sole enemy. They might have tortured her, tortured her as hard as they could, to let her forget their existence. And with all that torture they've done, she could be born as a new leaf.

So what was the use? What was the use of bringing her back?

"Guys, there's no point in getting her back. She's a Nohrian scum, and she'll stay that way forever." he spoke out, out of the blue. He would understand if all of his siblings shot him a disgusted response, but if they truly thought about it, they would agree with him.

So try and try all he could to get their attention, but the same response he got from the first time he brought it up never changed.

Eventually, the "work together as a family and bring her back" idea was fading away from his thoughts. As he, and his siblings grew older, and older, stronger, and stronger, and getting much more skilled...

All they have ever cared about is bringing her back. Sure, they had each other, but...

What about him?

Understandably, his personality had gone more rebellious and hard-headed. His siblings do seem to see him as strong. Heck, he even wielded a legendary weapon which was a bow called the Fujin Yumi. But strong as they may call him, they considered this brother to be mentally weak and fragile.

"That's okay," he thought. At least everyone else sees him as a strong, feared sniper.

He also did not like the new sibling to their family. A mysterious girl, with long pale azure hair that had the same paleness to her skin which he considered to be as a nuisance, acts as if she wants to get along for the sake of gaining their attention.

It worked. A lot. They were a lot more doting to her than to him. They were a lot more doting to an adoptive sibling than to an original sibling.

"That's fine," he thought. At least by this, he can be stronger alone.

The tiny flame inside his heart steadily grew, seemingly burning his existence alive.

He can admit:
- He absolutely loved fighting with a sword, which to their case, a katana. Holding it, the lightweight sword made him feel free. The freedom was snatched away by his envy when he knew Ryoma was a lot more skilled and better than he is in being a swordsman.
- He once thought of flying a Pegasus. Seeing seasoned Pegasus Riders flying up to the skies made him imagine he too, had a pair of wings, so that he could run - no, fly away, and get away from this place he calls his home. And Hinoka tore those wings off when he found out that he couldn't ride one, but she can (very skillfully, too).
- He sometimes had feelings of guilt towards the kingdom's wounded men. Maybe, he thought, if he helped them, he would find his strength to eventually help himself. But he gave up knowing Sakura had more potential in becoming a healer, since everyone's perspective considers her to be "angelic" and "kind".

What good was inside him, anyway?

So the bow called to him. It called his name when things seemed to be hopeless for him.

The look on Ryoma's face, when he absolutely didn't have the best accuracy to precisely shoot a target.

The look on Hinoka's face, when she couldn't even hold a bow perfectly, because to her, the names ginata was an easier weapon to wield than a bow, and she preferred to lunge at the enemies head on.

Sakura was ecstatic (but a little scared) to know that if she became an experienced shrine maiden, she could become a priestess that wielded a bow, and decided to take her big brother as her inspiration when she started learning how to fight.

For the first time in his life, after what felt like eternal decades, he finally felt strong. Besides, his legendary weapon will comfort him along his journey. The flames within him gave him pitiful mercy, and he was grateful, even if it was pitiful. It has stopped. The flames were burnt out. He will work his way to become the strongest sniper, and eventually, the strongest sibling of the family.

This time, he never cared if he made any mistakes nor if he had upset anyone. At least he was stronger than any of them, nonetheless.

"At least this strength can take down that pathetic scum."

And the ashes have burnt his heart. Nothing was left behind.

Because even with all his strength, and all his achievements, why didn't anyone acknowledge his existence, as not only a useful comrade, but an existing sibling?

Once, feeling frustrated on a day, he treated his dummies on target practice as if they were his siblings. Frustrated, frustrated over everything. Yes, he may seem like he never cares, and is cold hearted. But even so, even with all this, he tries to use every ounce of effort he can to at least appreciate what the family had gave and treated him, at least.

But he was done. He was finally done.

He was so envious of everyone.

Azura seems to be getting everything she needs.

He was very envious of Sakura; she at least had more STRENGTH and EFFORT than him to be STRONGER, not like him. All he did was to run, run, and run away.

Whenever he actually had achieved SOMETHING, Hinoka seems to be the one getting the praise. Even when HE did it FIRST.

And he was getting damned sick and tired listening to Ryoma, listening to what everyone had to say about Ryoma, and Ryoma, and Ryoma only. It was very rare for anyone, very rare for ANYONE, to talk about ANYTHING else when it comes to their family. Ryoma is the perfect heir to the throne. Ryoma deserves to be chosen by the legendary lightning blade, Raijinto. Ryoma is the perfect example of a great oldest sibling.

Ryoma this, Ryoma that. And he acts all high and mighty whenever he gets his praise, acting like he's some know it all, acting like he's already knowing everything because he's 'old enough' and he's their 'biggest brother'.

To make matters worse, everything about him, to his appearance, to his personality, to the way he talks, to the way he treats other people, to how he treats his family, to everything, to everything -

How dare you have the audacity to act like Father.

Pulling the strings, he watched the bow forming its arrow. A somewhat calming blue aura on the bow always had some sense of comfort to his heart.

"Bow down to me, you filthy peasants." he acted, releasing the string, as if he was going to kill his own siblings. He knew that he could never kill anyone of his own kin, but if he could...

Without an impulse, he would immediately strike.

That way, they all will see. They all will see how strong I am.

With a smile, the arrow pierced through their hearts.