Luna's Secret (A DWU Short Story)

Chapter Six

The following is a more or less accurate manuscript of the story I told Alex as he laid quietly in my lap:

"Centuries ago, when I was but a little filly, I adored my older sister, Princess Celestia. I used to just call just call her 'Tia. She wasn't much older than I was. We did everything together. We played together, we ate together, and we were even schooled together."

"What was your schooling like?" Alex asked me.

"It was fun. Our mother was our teacher, and she made the lessons and activities enjoyable for us."

"How were you in math?" He asked.

"I struggled some, so my sister would help me when my mother could not."

"I hated math. I was rubbish at it." Alex said with a chuckle. I smiled a bit, and continued,

"As the two of us grew, we faced two tragedies simultaneously. King Sombra charged into the Crystal Empire, enslaving the crystal ponies. Canterlot fought in the effort to overthrow him... Mother died in that war."

Silence overwhelmed the cave for a short minute.

Alex let out a long sigh, "I'm sorry to hear that." He rested his head against my stomach in a weak sort of embrace.

"Thank you." I said, looking down at him. I continued:

"Obviously, things were difficult after that. With mother now gone, and our father, who had grown old and passed long before, me and my sisters, who were only adolescents at the time, had to take the throne together..."

I paused again. I hadn't relived memories like that in a long time; so long, I wouldn't have put it past myself to say that I had forgotten it.

I wiped my wet eyes, "'Tia had to take on most of the responsibilities, since she was older. I just wasn't ready yet."

Alex looked up at me at this point, sensing the emotions flowing through me, "Take your time." He said softly.

The care in his voice reminded me of my mother, who I hadn't thought about in centuries exceeding my banishment. I nodded, allowing myself to breathe deeply until I was once again calm and at ease. I started again:

"Our two main tasks as rulers were to take care of the citizens of Equestria, and to raise the sun and the moon. Fulfilling these roles is what gave us our respective appearances now, and our cutie marks."

"I see." Alex said understandingly.

"It was around that time that I observed the stark contrasts of appreciation for the day in opposition to the night. I remember raising the moon this one time, and looking down and seeing a pony or two looking down at me and waving." I described.

"Isn't that nice?" Alex asked.

"It was, but then every following day, Celestia would raise the sun, and a crowd would be gathered there, cheering her name."

Alex was silent for a while, "So, you felt overshadowed by your sister and underappreciated by your subjects." He gathered.

"It wasn't just that. I saw less and less of my sister. She was always so occupied, and slept the rest of the time. We hardly spoke to each other, and we never talked. This went on for years and years, decade after decade after decade. I stopped seeing my sister when I looked at her. All I saw was the princess."

Alex sighed a bit, "I can understand why you'd be so upset by that."

"I wasn't just upset, Alex. I was angry. Celestia was my sister: the only real family and friend that I had that I could count on, and she forgot about me. She abandoned me. The only attention I got from her after all those years was when she banished me, doing away with me altogether." I said in a sudden burst of anger.

I inhaled sharply, pulling back a small sob. I had surprised myself. Almost 500 years had passed, and still I had resentment in my heart for Celestia and what she had, or rather, hadn't done for me.

Had so much time really done nothing for me? Had I learned nothing?

A rush of emotions hit me all at once, like a tidal wave: grief, regret, sadness, anger, a solemn yearning to go home, and the overwhelming sense of hopelessness in realizing that I was never going to leave this place.

After so much time spent reflecting and keeping myself entertained, the thought that I was to be condemned here forever was a thought that I had put off and forgotten long ago. But now it wasn't just a mere pessimistic thought. No, I was facing the cold, hard reality that Canterlot was no longer my home, and I would never see it again.

This, this rock suspended in space...this was my home now, from now until the day that I die.

An unhealthy rush of sadness came next, hitting me much harder than the first wave of emotions. I thought of all the things I would missed:

The luscious Canterlot garden. The Fire Roses that grew in bushes by Discord's statue: my favorite flowers growing up.

The sights and smells of the Canterlot market: the ponies happily going to and fro, smiling pleasantly as they bought and traded food and goods, making conversation with the merchants. The smell of the freshly baked bread I used to eat from a small little bakery.

These, along with so many other small memories that I now treasured deeply, and had even dreamed about.

Then I started remembering the things that I had missed:

Here I was, so consumed in my own self that I had failed to realize that billions of lives had come and gone, aware of my failure, aware of my absence.

The staff of Canterlot, whom I had betrayed: gone.

The librarian; the sweet old mare I had once known: gone.

The guard that I had fancied? He'd been promoted to captain, got married, had two kids. They were all gone too.

How many lives, happy memories, and changes had I missed? Did a number that large even exist? The number was infinite, because it would never stop growing.

I glanced towards my planet again, and I no longer recognized the world I once lived in...

"What am I even doing here?" I sobbed through heavy tears.

As all of these hard realizations passed through me all at once, I had become so lost in that sea of sadness that I hadn't even noticed that Alex had sat up and traded places with me, laying me in his lap and wrapping his arms around me, holding me and physically comforting me.

I wiped my eyes and shut them closed, resting against him. I felt his chest expand and shrink as he calmly breathed in and out. I heard the beating of his hearts. Both of them. He had two hearts.

My body relaxed. I would've fallen asleep if my I hadn't been focusing so much energy on savoring the feeling.

"Tell me what's going through your head, Luna." Alex said softly into my ear.

I hesitated only briefly before recounting to him all that I had previously described. After all, I had already told him so much, and he was literally the only pony that I could talk to. I told him my saddening thoughts: all the things that were long lost to me and I was missing deeply. I particularly dwelled on the garden and the baked bread, for those were the two memories that my senses favored the most.

I didn't stop there though:

I recalled happy memories I had not given much thought to previously. The librarian, playing with my sister when the two of us were young fillies, even the guard (which I had hesitated to even share).

Alex was attentive, listening to every word and every story. My heart swelled a bit as I relived those better times. I felt almost like I was with them again: the guard, the librarian, the baker from the shop, my mother, even my sister and the memories with her that would make me smile and laugh.

Finally, I realized what it was about Alex that drew me to him: he was warm, caring, he listened, and he understood...