Bully

I was at the park in my neighborhood when I saw Jakob. Jakob wasn't someone you wanted to get to know. He was probably one of the meanest people in my life. Well, he actually is. Every day he bullies me and tells me the meanest things. He tells me to go kill myself, tells me to go to cut etc. Jakob and I used to be best friends. Until we got to high school and he made the baseball team and the football team too. When we were younger we kind of liked each other. We had met in 6th grade and had been friends until the end of 8th grade.

Jakob saw me and came running over. I didn't notice until he was about 15 yards away. When I saw him I bolted. I kept on tripping but I just couldn't deal with his shit at this moment. I already had to deal with his shit at school.

"Alex! Wait!" he said screaming my name. For some reason I stopped. I don't know why. But something in his voice hit home. The desperation in his voice just pulled my heart strings bringing back feelings.

"What Jakob?" I said as I turned around looking down. He ran into me knocking me over. I didn't weigh much; I probably weighed about 110 pounds. He fell on top of me. I tried to push him off of me, but he weighed too much. He got the clue and rolled off of me. After he got up he put out his hand to me and I just glared at him, but took his hand.

"What the fuck was that?" I yelled at him with one hand on my hip, leaning on one foot. He just laughed. I was so pissed. I just started walking away. He was still laughing and it took him a few seconds to realize that I had walked away.

"Alex, wait!" Jakob said jogging towards me. There goes the heart strings again. I stopped, again.

"What??" I said calmly holding back tears while memories rushed to my head. Tears started to form in my eyes and I clenched my fists. I was so angry at him. He put me through so much shit these past three years. This is why I hate high school. It changes you. I've been a loner throughout my whole school life. I have no friends now. My only friend has ever been Jakob, and now he is the enemy. He's the one who I go home and cry about.

"I'm sorry.. " he whispered softly. I just stood there. I was shocked and pissed. I did what I've wanted to do for 3 years now. I slapped him, hard. He just looked at me.

"I definitely deserved that." He said with this sad look in his eyes.

"Yeah you did!" I said as I pulled up my sleeves to show him what he made me feel. There were probably about 500 scars on my arm. There were words like freak, fat, ugly, worthless etc. all over my arms and thighs.

"I made you feel like that?!" Jakob said nearly in tears. I sighed, I didn't really have the heart to tell him. But he had hurt me too much.

"Yeah, Jakob.. You did."

"Oh my god... What have I done?" He whispers to himself. I do something I would have never thought in a million years to do. I walked up to Jakob and hugged him.

"Look," I said "Yeah we used to be friends and stuff. But you really hurt me. A lot. Do you remember the day you told me to kill myself?" I asked with a calm voice. But he knew I was about to cry. He was there the night my mom died.

"Anything Alex." He said looking me straight in the eye. His eyes made me melt. Then I realized something. He never meant those things he said.

“Well, that night you told me to go and kill myself..” I said quietly. I can’t believe that I told him that. He’s either going to cry or just laugh. I can’t be totally sure right now, I mean just earlier today he told me to go kill myself. But something is different right now. "that night that you told me to go and kill my self I actually attempted. I was rushed to the hospital and they had to stitch up my arm. They also had to pump my stomach. luckily they didnt sned me to the behavioral hospital" I said with tears coming down my face.