You Are My Sunshine

Chapter 11

            Gabby was unusually quiet that evening.

"Are you feeling okay honey?" asked Angela at the dinner table after a full two minutes had gone by without a single burst of talking from the little girl.

Gabby looked up from her spaghetti at her aunt. She snuck a side glance at Fallon out of the corner of her eye, but the teenager was staring at her crust of garlic bread like it was the most important thing in the world.

"I'm fine," said Gabby. The lie felt sour in her mouth.

Only two words! And for that matter each only one syllable! Angela's mother radar went on red-hot alert.

"Are you sure?" she asked gently, "If something is bothering you then you can tell me about it. I won't be upset."

The temptation was strong. After all, Gabby's primary instinct was to open her mouth and pour out every little thing that was on her mind. Not only that, but she felt in way over her head. She was sure that Fallon needed help, but she didn't know what to do. She needed a grown-up, and Auntie Angela was a grown- up she liked and trusted very much.

But...

Fallon's eyes were narrowing in on her garlic bread crust with such a menacing stare that it was a wonder it didn't shrivel up on the spot. The message was clear. Say a word and I will personally strangle you.

Gabby's resolve deserted her.

"Well... um, I'm having trouble with math stuff at school," she said in a small voice. She told herself that this wasn't totally a lie- she really was having some trouble learning her multiplication tables.

"Is that all?" asked Angela.

'No!' Gabby wanted to cry, but she kept her mouth shut and nodded.

"Well, that's no problem. I can help you after dinner if you want. I have some old flashcards we could use."

Gabby tried to smile. "No, it's okay. Um..." she desperately cast about for an alternative topic of conversation (a new problem for her) and fell back on the food. "This spaghetti is really good," she said. To prove it she picked up her fork and ate with as much relish as she could muster.

Silence settled over the kitchen table like a brooding menace.

*************************************

That night, Gabby went through her usual routine of putting her dolls to sleep. Rapunzel and Skipper each slept on opposite sides of her suitcase on makeshift beds made up of Gabby's extra socks. Chip the tiger, Lucky the Labrador puppy, Francis the gorilla, and several other stuffed animals occupied the middle of the suitcase. Leah the panda of course slept with her, and was waiting dutifully by her place at Gabby's pillow.

"Okay, no staying up late, no pillow fights, and remember Rapunzel and Skipper aren't allowed to even look at each other," she said. "Chip, you're in charge since Leah is with me."

Gabby heard the shower water go off in the bathroom down the hall. Fallon would come in soon. Suddenly she decided she needed more than just one friend sleeping with her tonight. She grabbed Chip the tiger and set him on her blow- up mattress by Leah.

"I take that back. Lucky, you're in charge."

Skipper vehemently protested that she was not listening to a mere puppy.

"That's too bad," said Gabby. "You have to do what I say, and I say that Lucky is keeping you guys under control tonight. Now go to sleep." To soften her words she kissed each doll and stuffed animal on its forehead before closing the suitcase lid and sliding it to the foot of her blow-up mattress. Then she flicked off the light and crawled under her covers, snuggling between Leah and Chip for protection.

She started to think.

Fallon scared her. Up until today, things had been going so well. She thought she was getting to be best friends with her cousin, and Fallon had even given her a whole stack of new sheet music. Then Gabby had thought of a question, and being herself, blurted it out without thinking. Fallon had exploded like dynamite. She had told her to Shut up... another one of her mother's forbidden phrases. Never had Gabby been on the receiving end of such intense anger. She didn't know what to do. She was used to loving and being loved. People hardly ever got upset with her.

But what scared her even more was the pain she had felt in the older girl. Gabby wondered what it would feel like if her own Daddy died. What if his reassuring voice and strong arms were gone from her world forever? Immediately Gabby wanted to cry. She suddenly felt very homesick and alone. She wanted her Daddy right now... but he was on the other side of the world. She buried her face in Leah's black and white fur.

At least he's coming back, she reminded herself. Fallon's Daddy isn't.

Gabby heard bare footsteps approaching down the hall, and then she saw Fallon's dark form enter the room. She shut her eyes and went perfectly still until she heard her older cousin settle in bed. Then she cautiously opened her eyes again and stared at the dark ceiling.

Fallon had said playing the piano reminded her of her dad too much. Gabby didn't understand why she would avoid something that made her think of him. Wouldn't it make it feel like he was right there with her again? Why would that be bad?

Angela poked her head into the room. "Goodnight girls," she said softly.

"Good night Auntie Angela," said Gabby, belatedly remembering that she was pretending to be asleep.

There was a slight "M-mm," from the dark lump on Fallon's bed.

"Sleep tight," said Angela, mostly to Gabby. Her footsteps faded down the hall, and Gabby heard the kitchen light flick off. She wrapped her arms around Chip and sank into a dream in which she was wandering through her house, searching through empty rooms and calling for someone who wasn't there.