I feel like nothing. I feel like I woke up from a car accident. I feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart more than a thousand times. Most importantly, I feel like I’ve woken up from coma.
The only difference between an actual coma..and the coma I’m experiencing now...is that I can’t have the memories I’ve shared with you, the ones that I’ve made with you, they aren’t going away.
I’m trapped. I’m trapped in my own memories that I’ve shared with you. The ones that I’ve made with you.
I want to escape. Escape from the memories with you. Escape from you.
It’s hard. I want to do to escape so badly. I want to be free. I want to live without you. I want to make new memories. Make new memories without you.
I have to escape first. I have to escape from the nightmares. I have to escape from what seemed like perfect. I have to escape from you.
I can’t move inside the darkness. I can’t feel anything so I cry. I’m trapped inside memories. Please hold my hand so I can wake up. Please don’t go.
I can’t move inside the darkness. I can’t feel anything so I cry. I’m trapped inside memories.
I don’t want you to hold my hand so I can wake up. Please go.
I want to get rid of you. I’m going to go crazy. You were my everything. Or that’s what I thought.
You were everything I wanted. You were everything I wanted and more. I was wrong.
Wrong for me to fall for you. Wrong for me to believe you. I made a mistake to fall for you. I made a mistake to believe you.
What can I do?
Nothing.
What can I say?
Nothing.
I couldn’t see anything, but in a lovely and somewhat perfect way. I can’t see anything, but in a horrid and hysterical way.
I’m crying.
I’m shouting.
I’m swearing.
I’m throwing things across the room.
I’m calming down.
I was supposed to calm down.
You were supposed to calm me down.
Tell me everything is fine. Everything will be fine.
That’s the problem. You aren’t here. You’re not here to tell me everything is fine. You’re not here by my side.
I can’t breath. It hurts so much I can go crazy. My heart’s going to explode.
That’s not possible though.
You already took it and threw it onto the ground, shattering into infinity pieces. Not even a thousand, but infinity.
You made me believe in you. You made me believe in love...again.
Now only if I can wake from this coma...and fall in love again...
